11 July 2023

all calmed down

Beautiful pre-first-light. 
Blue and mellow, pre-dawn. 
It’s actually called The Blue Hour. 
Like the Golden Hour is at dusk. 

My morning commute. 
Every day this traffic. 

Since dropping the Sleep-Aide 
And anti-cholinergic, my HRV
Is in the 60 to 80 range. 
Go figure. 
Bodies generally don’t like
Bodies like Choline. Lol. 

Packets of soup from a Bariatric Supplier. 
Sprinkled with Crushed  Pork Rinds 
I got a variety pack. Mmm.  

Triple Trouble. 
They literally just sit there. 
In front of my door. 
Like 18 hours a day. 
They don’t go in. 
They just guard the door. 

I was so mad. Mad + tired. 
I reaffirmed my 10 years to retirement plan. 
I’ve been mad for years. 
My job *should be* a certain way. 
And we all know it’s not. 

I really can’t don’t care 
Which way they do the toilet paper. 
If they don’t help put away supplies. 
If they won’t take out the trash. 
If they are always late. 
If they steal supplies. 
If they are rude. 
If they are lazy, inept, mean,
Or anything else. 
Nothing is going to 
Get me off track. Nothing. 
Not bombs. Not war. Not the plague. 

And after I said it, 
It was nice- we had a really good day! 
It’s just a total waste of time. 
Like years are wasted -
and we will never get them back. 
Which is meaningless. 
Except for the suffering 
That goes on - in the meanwhile. 

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