30 June 2009

trick or treat

trick or treatment!

Thanks to everyone who commented on yesterday's post about the whipping cream in a can. I wrote in one of the comments "I am learning to tell the difference between a trick and a treat!" I thought about that some more. It's becoming true for me. 'Bout time, too!

And being the deep thinker that I am, my mind went racing back to an episode of I Love Lucy.

The gang was on their way to California, and they stopped off to eat and rest for the night. Do you remember that one? (Episode 111. "First Stop.") But the little place was too run down to stay in. So, tired as they were, they drove on. Lucy was driving when she saw a sign that said "Good Food" so many miles back. And behold! When they arrived, it was the exact same place!

Of course it was! That is how it works! (at least for me) A sign, a signal, a cue, and voila! I want that thing. And I used to fall for it every time. It's a trick! It never (ok, seldom) delivers on the promise it makes. You end up right back at the same old place. You eat it and you're still not satisfied.

What's worse, I was always surprised when it didn't turn out the way I had envisioned it!

"Surprise is a reasonable response to the unfamiliar, though hardly to something that occurs with such persistence."

An expectation, a disappointment, projects and projections. A comedy of errors!
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result!

So, can o' whipping cream, keep calling my name; watch me not answer.
How about I keep YOU locked up and chained to the fridge for a while?

Or better yet, I'll just let YOU go.

29 June 2009

whipped by whippin' cream

treat treaty

I have been doing so well. So I tell myself. Certainly I am entitled (there's that word again!) to a little snacky-snack.

And what could be better than a squirt of whipping cream from a can? Maybe a little squirt in my morning coffee. So I got the coffee and I got the can and I went to town.

I took a little more whipping cream right from the nozzle, standing right in front of the fridge. (A little bit more for Santa Claus!)

2 carbs per serving. How can that be? It seems like cheating. It seems like more!

Oh, yesh, and watch out for the nitrous oxide that they use as a propellent!

Late at night, that whipping cream in a can still calls my name. I should throw it in the trash, but I'm practicing ignoring it. That way I will develop better long term habits.

28 June 2009


Hmmmm.... should I go through the drive through today?

I'm really hungry....How about a hamburger? I don't want to get too little protein. That's a real problem; too little protein.

I mean, maybe that's why I'm stalling. Too little protein...yeah, that's it! Right!

Hmmm! That's good. Just what I needed. Nothing much, just a sandwich, and a glass of milk. Maybe some small talk with the nice guy who runs the hotel. He brought my dinner. Norman, was it?

Hmmm......just what I needed! A nice warm shower after my heavy duty work out!

This is good. Just a nice cozy hotel room, off the beaten path. It's like a day spa. Maybe a mud-pack.

What could possibly go wrong?

This is just silly. I must be in ketosis - everything is funny - how happy - lol!

27 June 2009

sherwood forest

This is in a cute little suburb of Dallas.  Block and blocks of cute little houses and lots of trees!

I found a merry gang of men, too.  They were saggin' as they walked down the street.  But they didn't want to be photographed today!  Perhaps they had just robbed from the rich, to give to the poor?

26 June 2009

ain't misbehavin'

loads of fun

These are my shirts, just drying in the summer sun.

My "boring" summer challenge is now well underway. You don't remember a challenge? I guess it was so boring and low-key that I forgot to mention it. Boring in a "good " way.

The challenge that wasn't there.

The challenge, for me, is this - a year from now, I will look back on THIS summer and say that THIS was the most boring summer ever!

This will be the summer that I made it happen!

No drama, no meltdowns (other than the summer heat!) No bingeing. No screaming at the Universe "Why did I eat that ...again?" No reasons to cheat - when in the end, I only cheat myself. (yeah, in the "end" lol)

By now, it's not all about the weight loss. One pound, or twenty. I just want to "eat the right thing." This is a long-term lifestyle change for me. Not a summer project.

Bouncing on the rebounder even when I would rather do something else. Eating my eggs-n-stuff even when I would rather have something else. Getting enough sleep at night instead of staying up late. You know, those kind of changes. Wholesome? Goal-directed?

I am learning to increase my tolerance for frustration. And learning impulse control. So far, so *yawn* good!

25 June 2009

too hot to trot

The almost 160 degree Fahrenheit picture was taken inside the automobile with the windows shut.

The almost 130 degree Fahrenheit picture was taken of a can, left out in the sun.  

Well done?  Just about medium rare, I'd say!

On the "plus" side, I have a cool protein mix on hot summer days such as this... too hot to eat!
And water, water, water!

I imagine going through the day carrying 30 extra pounds.  WOW! 

24 June 2009

couching tiger, hidden dragon

couch no more

I realized I haven't been spending much time in front of the tv.  Not like I was last summer. Or the summer before that. 

So I cancelled the premium movie channels.  Just called and did it. That will save about a couple o' bucks a month for something that I have only used a couple times since starting Atkins.

Don't misunderstand - I LOVE movies! However, if I like a movie enough to watch it twice, I just get it from I-Tunes, anyway.  

Nowadays,  I have different priorities.   [now-a-days?  is that a real word?] Now, I would rather spend my time taking walks.  Rebounding. Or watching the Food Channel.  Or Fit TV. You Tube. Or even blogging.

Or as Jack Sh*t said, "Blogging while jogging!"

Or just "chillaxing."  Or meditating without falling asleep.  Or reading my favorite book, which is A Course In Miracles. 

Or visiting a person.  A real person.  Perhaps going somewhere, doing something.  

Or just doing nothing, without getting into trouble.  Which I suspect is how I got into trouble in the fist place.

just shoot me

see ya in 30 pounds

After getting my picture taken the other day, I jokingly told the photographer to come back after I lost 30 more pounds.

She told me that if I lost 30 more pounds, she would come back and give me a complimentary photograph!

These are the umbrellas they use for lighting, dah-ling!

I told her that she doesn't know me very well, and I would NO DOUBT be seeing her before Christmas!

I guess she thought she could make such a promise because it seemed like a safe bet - against me! I guess the sad truth is, a lot of people want to lose, but very few actually do lose weight. And then there's the keeping it off!

23 June 2009

not a 2x anymore!

almost lost my pants

I cannot imagine that these scrubs fit me a few months ago. And they are a 2X.

This looks like I'm posing for a pajama party or a Broadway musical!

Odd thing is, the scale is still stuck. But actually seeing this is all the feedback I need.

What shall I sing?

Food, Glorious Food............from Oliver!
It's a Hard Knock Life..........from Annie
Tomorrow..............................from Annie
My Favorite Things..............from The Sound Of Music
If I Only Had A Brain...........from The Wizard Of Oz
Feed Me, Seymour...............from Little Shop Of Horrors
It Sucks To Be ME ...............from Avenue Q
Everything Is Food...............from Popeye
I Can't Say No........................from Oklahoma!
I Feel Pretty..........................from West Side Story
Heavy.....................................from Dreamgirls

Something from Cats?

No Day But Today.........................from RENT
Today 4 U, Tomorrow For Me....from RENT

things I ate today

not alot of variety

I am one of those lucky (or unlucky as the case may be) people who don't need alot of variety. I could be happy eating the same thing every day, for a very long time.

Before I stumbled onto low carb, I had some kind of ulcer. What kind, I don't know, because I never got it diagnosed. (Typical nurse!) But for months I could only eat 5 or 6 things that did not make my condition worse.

The food didn't make it better; it just didn't make it worse.

Now, about 3 months into a low-carb way of eating, I have thrown out the Zantac and the Prilosec. Bad for the economy. I'm sure I kept some part of it going with all those Cokes and fast foods! But good for me!

So now my menu postings are...what's the word? Boring? Redundant? Fit for a bed-time story 'cuz my menu would bore anyone to sleep?

Variety? I love it! I just don't need it somehow. People who know me say my personality is somewhere between "House" and "Monk." I hope they meant that as a compliment!

22 June 2009

"island" of Langerhans

island vacation of sorts

Having a lovely time on my food vacation - other wise known as an intermittent fast.

Fasting is easier in the summer when it's sometimes too hot to eat. A little water fast works out just right.

I am not a purist. I can and do break the fast anytime my body or circumstances tell me to stop fasting and start eating again.

Never fast, of course, when you feel dizzy or light-headed, or sick or if you have anything going on with your body health-wise. I'm not talking about long, heroic fasting here. It's more like a voluntary choice to miss a meal, sometimes two, just every now and then. Once or twice a week. That's what interment fasting is. It's as extreme or as simple as you choose to make it.

And drink water, water, water!

21 June 2009

sleeping with the enemy

charley horse

A horse in my bed every night. Sometimes two. My stifled screams of utter agony were wakin' up the "neigh-bors."

This week, I have had awful leg cramps every night. The kind that wake you up wanting to scream out in pain...if only you could catch your breath.

Not enough potassium? Well, I took some.

Not enough magnesium? Well, I took some of that, too.

Too much rebounding? Well, I also walk, and mix up my routine. And I stretch a lot, every chance I get.

Maybe a DVT? A clot? Had it checked. No clot, thank goodness! Not in each leg, simultaneously.

Not enough water? I drank more. Too much water? I drank less. Too hot? I bought a fan. Too cold? I wear leg warmers.

I ended up putting Bio Freeze on my legs before I went to sleep. It worked, too. Thank goodness. I reapply it every time I get up in the night.

Sympathy cramps for fellow bloggers - slash - dieters? The world may never know....

18 June 2009

takin' it to da streets

Driving around Dallas proper.  This area is known as the "Disney Streets."  Something cute to look at.  Still tryin' to find Grumpy Street....

17 June 2009

my brave face

The first pic is my when I drove to California for the infamous vacation that started it all.  Late 
March 09. (Stuck in the Grand Canyon - no electricity - just hard boiled eggs and beef jerky. 
 You know, THAT story!)

The second pic is me a few days ago.  We'll see in another 90 days!

I'm looking through you

The pic with the bag is me in late March.  The other one is  me just the other day.

Seems I was just too shy to pose without a prop.  I was also too shy to actually weigh.

Now, I'm about half way to my goal. 

The first part was 90 days ago.  
We'll see again in 90 days!

16 June 2009

the most boring summer EVER

summer 2009

Wasn't it our dear Jack Sh*t who wrote a letter from his future self to the present-day guy, telling him all the reasons he was glad he followed his weight loss plan?

This is an "over the shoulder" shot of me driving out of the desert. No cars for miles around. Kind of cloudy, kind of bright, not too hot. Just driving.

These days, my thoughts are changing. Even my dreams are changing. I feel like I am going somewhere. Waiting to go somewhere. Getting the heck out of Dodge. Not in Kansas anymore. Poor Kansas. Always getting the bad rep. Or is it a bad "rap?"

I am finally ready to start my journey. I thought I was already journey-ing. The truth is, I am just getting started. And I am planning to have the most boring summer ever.

Just for this summer, I plan to do my boring work out most every day, even when I don't feel like it. Even if it's for five minutes. Just do it.

Just for this summer, I will pack my boring little lunch, without all the little "treats" I think I am entitled to, and will no doubt die without. I will do without them, just for one short summer.

Just for this summer, I will not even go to places that have been a temptation before. I will go PRE-prepared (hehe) and feel the boredom of not having everything I want. As if my eyes conspire with my hands, and force the forbidden food into my open, waiting mouth.

I am my own worst enemy. That fat Oompa Loompa in my ego's mind is forever telling me what to do. I know a guy named Ken. He says when the ego talks, do the opposite of what it says, and you'll be fine!

So just for this June, July and August, I will be on a budget of my mind. I can hear that little brat screamin' now! No junk, no cheating, no looking back.

I've had boring summers before. And I will again. But at the end of THIS summer, I will at least know I can do SOMETHING to really help myself. Perhaps I can look back on the summer of 2009 as the summer that I made it happen!

If I lose one pound or twenty. Me and my shadow are getting out of this dry and dusty desert. I see the buzzards circling overhead!

scales of justice

who is blind, by the way

I measure foods and weigh them, because my mind's eye has NO IDEA what a "portion" should be. I tell myself and I really believe that I only ate "just a little," and behold! It wasn't "just a little!"

On the other hand, 3 ounces of something isn't very much. Or 3.451 ounces.

Curious how it all adds up. Especially when compared to the "super-sized" meals I was used to. VALUE MEALS? What value? At the end of the day, there was not much there to value.

Even with Atkins, or pseudo Atkins, it's still important to be aware of things like portions and calories, and sodium content. What's the use of having a "metabolic advantage" if it's not an advantage to you, on a personal level?

I look at what other people post, and I am amazed at how little they eat. One egg...one bite....one little smidgen of this or that. And right next to it, they post how much weight they dropped this week alone. Also, these insightful people tend to work out every day, even when they would MUCH rather say "I would prefer not to!"

Although they don't say it, I wonder how many people walk around a little hungry sometimes? Or a lot hungry, a lot of the time?

14 June 2009

a day in the life

strawberry jelly forever

0600 Decaff coffee with cream and coconut oil. Two tablespoons of almond butter (or pb!) with cream cheese or sf strawberry jelly.

1000 Hamburger and eggs (omega 3, both) with cheese and cayenne pepper flakes. (That's almost everyday! Sometimes I substitute bacon.)

1400 A Diet DrPepper, perhaps, and some pork rinds, for something crunchy. Or not.

1800 Maybe a salad with different kinds of cheese, real bacon bits, ranch dressing. Most days I skip the salad and just have the cheese.

2200 If I'm still hungry, a cup of beef+chicken broth with coconut oil . One scoop o' flaxseed meal.

Funny, when I was visiting California, hardly no one had heard of Pork Rinds. They looked at me like I was crazy. The store guy would wrinkle up his nose and make this shocked face and say the words back to me, real slow, like it was a different language. "Pork..rye? Pork..pie? Pork..wrings, er, uh, wings?" I guess they are a "Texas" thing!

I drink at least 2 liters of water a day, sometimes more.

I shop and cook on my days off, which are staggered and varied. I always have "good" quick food nearby in case a patient's dog eats my lunch (it has happened!) Or in case I don't have time to cook and pack up a "real meal."

13 June 2009

2 + 2 = 22

well, it is!

Some people say that we have a "set-point." A metabolic thermostat that seems to be set by our diet and level of physical activity.

Anyone who has ever been whipped (I mean challenged) by "Diet Math" must wonder if this is true. Or is it just Urban Mythology? Nonsense!

Increase the output and you're half-way there.
Decrease the input and you're half-way there.

It's so EASY! How could this be hard? This is what I hear people say. Moms across America are telling some poor overweight kid (or grownup kids) just to snap out of it, and get a handle on it, and wrap their minds around it.

Whatever "it" is, I don't recall!

Then I read people's blogs, and I know gaining or losing weight is not as simple as how much, or how little food you eat.

Metabolism is measured in days and weeks. Not hours and minutes. Hours and minutes count, yes. But the bigger picture counts more, I think. For example, Omega 3 fatty acids, like flax seed supplements, can take up to 2 weeks to start to reach optimum levels. Some vitamins and minerals need to be replaced every day. Some not so often. Some amino acids are being formed and reformed and who knows where they go or how they got there.

There's alot we know, and much more that we don't know. I guess we're all learning.
"Go with what works for you!"

11 June 2009

I'm glad I'm not sensitive!

people say the darnedest things

Once, at the indoor walking track, a "little old lady" passed me by - again - as I was walking. She winked at me, and asked "Are you OK, honey?" So I did the only thing I could think to do. I started limping! I carried on for a good 5 minutes about "Oh, my ankle!" (which, of course, was fine!)

Once, a neighbor was visiting. She was venting a little about what a "rather large" person had done to her, or said to her (or maybe even just looked at her wrong!) Then my neighbor made a little *gasp* and covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh, Anne, nothing personal! No offense, dear!" I guess she thinks that we "rather large" people all stick together. Come to think of it, we do! Here at least.

Once, a lady (a sociopath, I think) looked me square in the eye and announced, very matter of factly "YOU are as big as a house!" Oh, come on! "What?" I asked, with my mouth gaping open, for I could not believe my ears. Never missing a beat, she replied "You heard me." A house? What kind of house... a little townhouse? A condo maybe? An apartment? Maybe a Mc Mansion :D

Once, a family member of a patient (I am a home nurse) called my company and asked if they could please send a "skinny" nurse. She was afraid I would get stuck in the shower while showering the patient. That's what she said. Stuck in a 5 foot wide enclosure! Later that same day, she came running out from her bedroom. She was napping and had a dream that I sat on her furniture and broke it! She then directed me to sit on the couch....

Once, I was checking out at a place where they require a picture i.d. The checkout lady looked up, and back to her computer screen. Back and forth she looked, until finally she asked "Do you have a sister?" No, just me. That's me! "Oh," she stammered. "Look at the time! Gotta go!"
True stories, all!

10 June 2009

no country for fat men

call it, friendo

"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

Of what use was the rule. What an excellent question.

I am the one who once thought I was entitled to eat anything I wanted, just because I was hungry, or tired. Or I didn't want to GET hungry or tired. Anything, in any amount. If I wanted it, I gave it to myself.

It's like that "fat girl" who lives inside my head. She sometimes runs around in between these blogs. I heard Lyn mention her at Escape From Obesity. This imaginary fat girl, the one who lives in my head, would look like Violet from Willy Wonka. She always wants more. She first coaxes, then insists, then has a meltdown if she can't get a treat. She's the one who says "let's watch tv instead of working out." The one who sleeps, and dreams of lasagna, while the "fit girl" is busy living her life.

It never tastes as good as you think it will...Every now and then, you win the "taste lottery" and for a while, it does taste good. Just like you thought it would. But those times are rare for me, and most of the time I ask myself "why did I eat that - again?'

It's just a thought, just the ego. The trick is to learn to not listen to it.

So the rules I followed brought me to this.

One Coke a day, just one extra couple of hundred calories -- can add up over a year to more than a couple of pounds. It changes so slowly, you don't notice. Till one day, you do.

Then you decide "once and for all" that you have had enough. I've had enough. I guess more than a few of us have said that and meant it, and get lulled back into the old way of thinking. I know I have. And I see the result every day.

So now I am learning to think differently. Like fasting. And learning I didn't die just because I skipped lunch. Or learning how to cook, again. This time, healthy foods.

The rules I follow brought me to this. Time to change the rules.

07 June 2009

grass-fed cows

all cows eat grass

I listen to Jimmy Moore's podcasts. They are very, very good. Lots of info. In one of the episodes, he was interviewing someone about Omega 3 fatty acids and grass vs grain fed beef.

It makes sense that if humans can have weight gain and insulin problems from grain and corn, so can cows. In fact, isn't weight gain the point when it comes to selling cows?

The grass-fed beef is rich in Omega 3 fatty acids. People who are on Atkins or other low-carb diets could possibly benefit from more Omega 3 and less Omega 6 fatty acids. The grass-fed beef is more expensive, but much, much better quality.

It went on to say all kinds of good things about the joys of grass-fed - not grain fed - beef. For beef, milk, butter, anything .

Does anyone else think it makes a difference? Just curious.

04 June 2009

send me a sign

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried...

...if only it were this easy!

03 June 2009

hulking down

you wouldn't like me when I'm hungry

The Intermittent Fasting Experiment has been going on for 2 weeks or so. It's intermittent, so it's hard to say!

All the slow times, the boredom, the random thoughts, watching the days and the clock tick by...

All that was fine and good. I watched my simple and sometimes silly thoughts come and go. Kinda like watching those big puffy clouds roll by on a lazy summer day.

But then came a thunderstorm. Only it wasn't thunder, it was my stomach rumbling! And for the first time in a very long time, I was hungry. Very hungry. The kind of hunger that's hard to ignore.

I drank water, hoping it was just thirst, or some other mixed signal. Nope, this was the real thing. The wolf at the door, so to speak. How bad could it be, I remember asking myself. Well, pretty freakin' bad. Luckily, I have read the Atkins books and put in place little safeguards. I filled the fridge with low-carb snacks and easy access high-fat munchies.

I knew this day would come. I just didn't think it would be today.

So I ate. Cubes of cheese, a little bacon, a few macadamia nuts. I had actually eaten a little lunch today, so I really couldn't be that hungry. Blood sugar was 90 - I'm such a "nerd" I took my blood sugar so I could rule out hypoglycemia...all in the name of research!

I finally settled down after making a big steamy cup of bullion/broth. I mixed chicken and beef flavor. I figured the broth was a good choice because by now I was more sick than hungry.

What was this phenomenon? It could have just as easily been the end of a low-carb era for me.

I know now this weight loss agenda will require more work and diligence than I ever thought. I told this twisted story to a fellow Atkineer who said "welcome to my world!"

In the past, I have yielded to just about any craving my body had. It seemed like a good idea at the time! But now, watching my body's reactions and waiting for the cravings to pass... it's hard, to say the least. Wow!

02 June 2009


projection makes perception

At first I thought rebounding was for middle-aged women who were a little ...heavy. Wow! Now I know I was only describing myself. No one would guess I am close to 50. And my heaviest weight was 200++. I can't say for sure, because I refused to weigh.

I am a nurse, actually, and the lymph system fascinates me. There are lots of web materials on Manual Lymph Drainage and Lymph Massage. They even offer certification in it.

Rebounding is a good way to move lymph and muscles that wouldn't get deep stimulation otherwise. Imagine moving all those body parts. The springs on the rebounder give a boost that my body can't give to itself right now.

Massage is also great. Every night and morning I do a quick little Lymph Massage on myself. It's just a simple massage with a very light touch - you could use a feather, the touch is so light. It takes 5 or 10 minutes. Always massage toward the lymph nodes. There are nodes in your armpits and groin, among other places. There are clips on Youtube that show the technique.

People who are sick with some lymph involvement, or even a cold should not try this until they discuss it with a doc or a therapist. I'm not one of those Nurses who go around telling people what they should be doing. (Actually, I am, but not in this case!)

This is just what I do. Although sometimes the treatment for lymph diseases is Lymph Massage! It's safe, and effective, and works great. They even offer lymph massage in hospitals and clinics! There are plenty of ways to find out more, if the idea intrigues you. (Darn, I wish I could link!)

I don't exercise just to lose weight at this point. Although it burns calories, for sure! I rebound mostly for the physical movement and lymph stimulation. They say the lymphatic system circulates once every 24 hours. The lymph system does not have a pump. It pulls extra fluid and cellular debris from your body. It moves almost like a vacuum, pulling. But with movement and stimulation, it circulates much, much more often. With all that ketosis, lyposis, and metabolic changes, it makes sense to me to move that lymph!

I skipped a day (and boy, were my legs sore!! lol) and got back to rebounding right away. I have lost a lot of inches from my thighs in just a few weeks. My pants actually fell off of me as I was walking last night. Yikes! That's something you don't see every day!

01 June 2009

tastes just like candy...honest!

protein to go

Netrition claims that Nectar brand protein mix tastes so good you can eat it right from the package. Just like candy. They are right!

I follow a low-carb lifestyle, and lave been loving it since mid March. I'm really just starting -- a newbie!

But I really like the taste and convenience of a protein mix. The protein powders made by Syntrax/Nectar have no carbs, no nutrasweet. They dissolve instantly with just a spoon. They are whey based, and alot better than some of the stuff than you can get from the stores.

They're a good substitute, especially if you have a job like mine where you can't always sit down for a hot meal on a plate, at a table.

Yes, they have Splenda (sucralose) and also artificial colors, sorta like kool-aide. But they can be an occasional indulgence for a non-purist. By the way, they also have a non-flavored mix that offers the same "superior protein" per oz. scoop.

I mix up different flavors for days I know lunch time will be short. (Non-existent is more like it!) I put them in those little containers that Protein Shots come in. Yea for protein!