24 May 2018

clean up days

My dinner companion had to change plans. 

The Mighty Double Cheeseburger. 
So I had this. And some wine. 
And some coffee. 

Salad is good. Had that as well. 

Planning a Finger Food Feast this weekend! 

Planning a Birthday Party for my Bestie! 

Planning planning planning. 

I’m so “casual” it’s a wonder
 I ever got anything done. Ever. 
In my whole life. 

I’m not the “lazy” kind of casual. 
I’m the kind that works without
Somehow having formed an attachment 
To the outcome. 

I never wanted anything to the point
I had to work at it. I loved working 
Toward goals, like preparing a piece 
For recital, as a young Music Major. 
And I worked hard, many hours a day. 
For months and years. 

Or when I built (repaired) a house. 
I loved the work, but I’m no Alpha. 
So I never really made it 
“Do or Die!”

 Like in Nursing School,
Which, by all accounts 
Is never easy...
I never had to study or prepare at all. 

It’s like starting a relationship 
By playing it by ear and wondering 
If marriage is out of the question. 

Even starting Low Carb, 
By being stranded in the 
Grand Canyon, in a snowstorm, 
and not having access to food....
It was a passive decision to start. 
And not something that I researched 
And decided to dedicate myself to. 

Wow. I’m sitting here, writing this,
I’m stunned actually, 
And never saw this pattern before in me. 

Lots of people start school and never finish. 
Or start diets and never stick with them. 
Or hobbies. Or careers. 
Or relationships. 

Probably would explain why most people 
Have closets full of junk and abandoned “toys”. 

I personally think Americans have a 
messy and haphazard lot in life. 
So many things can go wrong. 
And any little setback
Could derail absolutely everything. 
So much is largely unregulated. 
And there’s no safety net. 
Kinda “Dog Eat Dog!”
Or “Buyer Beware!” 

No real skills are taught, 
Nor handed down, as theyvonce were. 
Things change so fast, 
Moms can’t hand down skills anymore. 
Can you teach someone 
to have a strong work ethic? 

I guess we take the tests and hope for the best. 
Small wonder we are unhappy. 

I have grown friends who can’t manage a household. 
They have no idea how it runs 
Or how to maintain it. 
They just hope to keep up with repairs. 
But they never see it coming. 
Most repairs could be prevented, 
But we are oblivious to the concept of
Preventive Maintenance. 

I have grown friends who can’t budget finances. 
Money just magically shows up
And leaves again 
Just as mysteriously. 

They pray, but mostly for miracles
That would remove the effects
Of whatever indulgence 
They just allowed. 

I entered a challenge (that I made)
And then turned around 
And violated every aspect of it. 

My ego is like a teenage boy
Who doesn’t want to mow the lawn,
And would rather sit inside 
Playing video games 
And eating ice cream. 
Then bitch to mom 
That I need my allowance. 

If we had a grown child 
who sat around smoking pot,
And slacking off, we would hate it. 
But now, we’re middle-aged women
Sitting around drinking wine  
And eating junk...
Which is just as mind-numbing. 
Maybe worse. 
We’re supposed to know better. 
And do better. 

Wow. What a breakthrough! 
Now what the hell do I do 
With this information!! 

23 May 2018

pep in my step

Found a little pond to walk around. 

It’s on a city park, so it’s paved. 

I love my morning walks. 

With all the hours I work plus fasting, 
I’m so tired at the end of the day. 
Sometimes walking will have to be enough. 

Went ahead and ate. 
Beef Broccoli Stir Fry. 
And Hot and Sour Soup for tonight. 

Even with a few bites of rice, this was me. 
I need to understand that Hct. 
I think I shall write to the company. 

In other news, I don’t seem to 
Need glasses any more! 
I’ve worn them since grade school. 
So.... many years. 
On low carb, my vision 
just got better and better -
I don’t even wear readers! 
“At MY age!” Lol. 

22 May 2018

onward and downward

Woot woot! 
New scrubs! 

Medium pants. 
Next comes the medium top. 

Got tired of looking like a bag of rags. 
I’m ready to lose the weight I gained 
When I broke my leg. 
3 years ago. 

Still getting a walk in every day. 
Hoping for 2 walks. 
But I was so tired I went to sleep
For a nap and didn’t wake up till later! 

I found this picture from 2012 
When I still lived at the Hen House. 
I’ve always fasted here and there. 
Now and again. 
But Snake Juice makes it so much easier! 

No big Monday meal yesterday. 
I ate enough on Friday and Saturday 
for Ramadan - to hold a camel over. 

And I am in the early phase
Where you lose about a half pound
To a pound a day. 

When I reach my goal,
I dont want to ever go back   
And now, with Snake Juice, 
I never have to. 
Tired of doing this. 
At least it wasn’t more than a 
15 to 20  Bounce. 

The Low Carb Cruise is in full swing ,
And I am not on the boat. 
Someone needs to address maintenance. 
Transition to maintenance
Was always where I made my errors. 
I simply couldn’t get there
Without fasting. 
Extended fasting and low carb in between