03 October 2022

odd day

That’s what they call it?
Sunday Scaries. 
Anxiety yesterday. 
At work. 

Or in this case, Monday. 

Not drinking has been the best thing
For better sleep. Yay! 

Little cold nose…
He likes to snuggle. 

02 October 2022

sick day

Not the greatest picture 
but what can ya do? 

Ya know when you overstimulate 
A dog? Well, that’s how I feel. 
Tired and ready to snap
At someone. Leave me alone. 
Quit fucking with me
And leave me the fuck alone. 

During report, I had to talk myself 
Out of getting on the car
And driving off. 
Don’t take report, 
Quit on the spot. 
Drive home. 
Go to sleep. 
I realized I was having a panic attack. 
Right there at work. 

This baby stayed so close. 
I was anxious all day yesterday as well. 

And stop eating all my 
special cheese collection. 
In fact, stop eating my stuff altogether. 
It’s crazy to start to cook, 
And the ingredients have been eaten. 

I think - I know I’m not crazy. 
But didn’t I have some pepper Jack? 
And why are there teeth marks 
In the cheese and it was left out
On the counter…
In the garage…
On the patio…
Pick your battles… etc…
But shit- just go get your own groceries. 
And stop eating my ingredients. 
Who does that? 
Drunken frat boys?

Big fight at work. 
Everyone is involved. 
This one said that that one said something. 
I try to keep out of crap like that. 

This one wants me to give her 2 days. 
I could not get anyone to come in for me 
For like 3 years. Now they want my days. 
And the company is on their side. 
And then they lie about it. 
“Oh I never said that!”
That sick feeling about
He said she said. 

And if you (not you per se)
Confront me about something, 
You need to do it, say it, own it,
And give me a chance to explain. 

Also I will do things my way, 
And you do things your way. 
And that’s ok as long as it doesn’t 
Mess things up - the for bigger picture. 

The incident that caused the fight is
That I ordered the medicine 
For the case. And I rotate the bottles
When I’m gone so they’re full…
When I’m gone for a few days. 
That way, no one sends the dad out 
At 0100 to get more medicine.  
Which really happened once.
So I’m guilty of using full bottles. 

In my mind I’m very anxious. 
So fuck off and mind yer business. 
I’m probably a bitch 
When it comes to fights. 
I fight fair but I don’t take shit. 
If someone is mad or frustrated,
That’s ok. But don’t turn it 
On the me. I’m not the one. 

If I’m wrong, correct me. 
Don’t threaten me or 
Take it out on me. 

If you’re confronting me
Because I didn’t do the laundry fast enough? 
(For example…)
Guess what. You’re in charge 
Of laundry from that day forward. 

[breathing exercising]

Anxiety sucks. Being at work 
With anxiety is hard
Because you can’t go away,
and calm down. It’s pretty public. 

01 October 2022

Randy Rainbow

Last night was so fun! 
I saw Randy Rainbow - live!

Front row parking 

Front row seat 

He hit a high note
And told everyone 
To get their phones out. 

Grand Finale 

Clean up 

Good news! 
My pre-COVID clothes fit!! 
I was having doubts. Lol. 

Lots of steps 

Slept long and hard 

My baby boi 

Ye olde bathroom selfie. 
It was such a great time! 
Randy Rainbow has been such 
an inspiration, a healing force…
I hope he has a swimming pool
full of money and lives the rest of his life 
In happiness and bliss. 
Broadway and Parody. 
A match made in NYC.