Judge Judy tells it like it iz
In the Posterior Quart in the County of Fattitude
The Honorable Judge J presiding.
*cue court music*
Me: The Plain Plaintiff...
Other Me: The Deaf-End-Ant... (defendant)
Pseudo Judge J: Do you know why you are here today?
Me: Yes, I have done messed up
on my New Years Reso-poop-tions.
Deaf EndAnt: Your Honor, I object!
Judge J: Object to WHAT, Sir or Madame?
What could you possibly be objecting to?
We haven't even started yet!!!
And by the way, you're not even in color!
You're still in black and white!
Why should I even listen to your plea?
Deaf End: I don't know, but I still object.
My client is innocent, Your Honor!
Judge: I know, I know!
Everyone is innocent, right?
Look at her - does she look innocent?
Quit blowing smoke up my skirt and telling me it's raining!
Deaf and Della: Wha - Huh? Excuse me?
No comprende, Your Honor!
JJ: Never mind.
The question remains:
Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?
WHO? Just askin'...
Me: Not me! I didn't do it.
(A likely story...
Would you believe they were pork rinds?)
Fudge Foodie: Tell me Madame -
If it wasn't you, and there was no one else in the house,
and you have crumbs all over your round little face -
(It helps if you do the accent - )
Deaf Ants: Looks like a smoking bun - er, uh, gun!
Better confess, Carbie. She caught you with your hand
in the cookie jar.... Red (velvet cake) handed!
Trudge Trudy: I've already decided the minute I saw you.
That candy didn't just trip and land in your mouth.
Besides, you look a little like Pugsley there.
And you sound like Bart Simpson. ("It wasn't me!")
Not that there's anything wrong with that....
JJ: I find you guilty as charged!
You are hereby sentenced to another year of blogging!
And think about what you've done next time.
You know - the old "If you bite it, write it!"
Me: Well, poo!
Good thing I like to blog!
The real perp:
Turns out, this guy ate the cookies!
They go great with coffee!
Got a light?