07 January 2011

fudge foodie

Judge Judy tells it like it iz

In the Posterior Quart in the County of Fattitude
The Honorable Judge J presiding.
*cue court music*
Me: The Plain Plaintiff...
Other Me: The Deaf-End-Ant... (defendant)
.....................................................................

Pseudo Judge J: Do you know why you are here today?

Me: Yes, I have done messed up 
on my New Years Reso-poop-tions.

Deaf EndAnt: Your Honor, I object!

Judge J: Object to WHAT, Sir or Madame? 
What could you possibly be objecting to?
We haven't even started yet!!!

And by the way, you're not even in color!
You're still in black and white!
Why should I even listen to your plea?

Deaf End: I don't know, but I still object.
My client is innocent, Your Honor!

Judge: I know, I know!
Everyone is innocent, right?

Look at her - does she look innocent?
Quit blowing smoke up my skirt and telling me it's raining!

Deaf and Della: Wha - Huh? Excuse me?
No comprende, Your Honor!

JJ: Never mind.
The question remains:
Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?
WHO? Just askin'...

Me: Not me! I didn't do it.
(A likely story... 
Would you believe they were pork rinds?)


Fudge Foodie: Tell me Madame -
If it wasn't you, and there was no one else in the house,
and you have crumbs all over your round little face - 
THEN, WHO?
(It helps if you do the accent - )

Deaf Ants: Looks like a smoking bun - er, uh, gun!
Better confess, Carbie. She caught you with your hand
in the cookie jar.... Red (velvet cake) handed!

Trudge Trudy: I've already decided the minute I saw you.
That candy didn't just trip and land in your mouth.

 
Besides,  you look a little like Pugsley there.
And you sound like Bart Simpson. ("It wasn't me!")
Not that there's anything wrong with that....

JJ: I find you guilty as charged!
You are hereby sentenced to another year of blogging!
And think about what you've done next time.
You know - the old "If you bite it, write it!"

*Case closed!*

Me: Well, poo!
Good thing I like to blog!

The real  perp: 
Turns out, this guy ate the cookies!
They go great with coffee!

Got a light?

22 comments:

  1. I doubt you really ate cookies!??? but Im glad Fudge Foodie sentenced you to another year of blogging. At least! :-D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Okay, that was very clever:)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Behave!!!
    You are FABULOUS in Everyway xxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. At least another year. Fudge Foodie is Fab. So are you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Another year of blogging? Cruel and unusual punishment - but good for us. I kinda like JJ sometimes, but does she have to yell so much - lol.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That was great. An old boyfriend of mine was on judge wapner back in the day lol. Here's to fudge foodie!

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Fudge Foodie" and the 1st photo were enough to start me laughing. The rest, as they say, was icing on the sugar cookies.

    Thanks for brightening my day!

    Robin

    ReplyDelete
  8. I LOVE Judge Judy! I wish I were as quick as she is!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anne, you are so creative! Loved this post!

    ReplyDelete
  10. THAT ROCKED!!!! A hilarious bloggy cookie stealing crime mystery!!!!!

    You get the Gold Creative Star Award today!!!!

    :* love ya, bye

    ReplyDelete
  11. Love it! So funny, you are so creative!

    ReplyDelete
  12. So, how many judges will it take to change your "lite" bulbs?!?!?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Bwah Ha Ha! That was so frakking awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  14. picture me howling
    tears streaming down my cheeks
    wondering how you do it
    come up with these
    hilariousocities
    every dang day
    do you sleep
    ever
    however it is
    your sentence
    is duely noted
    and muchly appreciated

    BTW, thanks for your recent comments
    re my happiness posts
    your understanding and insights
    are almost always spot on
    bingo winner
    dot-connecting genius

    ReplyDelete
  15. mmmm....got any low carb cookies? Maybe pork rind chip cookies? LOL gross.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I've played the "who stole the cookies" game at least a million times with my nieces and nephews but I think this is the best version yet. What a hoot.
    Great job Anne.
    Happy Weekend, xo jj

    ReplyDelete
  17. When there were grandkids around, it was convenient to say one of them took the cookies. Ha. You did such a great job on this post. Lots of fun.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Did you reeealy eat cookies?
    I'm glad you are sentenced to another year of blogging though :) LOVE your posts!
    If you really did eat cookies... I think you should be sentenced to another year... PER COOKIE!
    Not because you deserve the punishment, but so we know we can read that much longer :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'm innocent, I tell ya!
    I was framed! lol
    No - really - I didn't have a cookie!

    And thanks - I want to keep blogging
    for at least a few years to prove that
    1) LoCarb doesn't kill people, or age them, and
    2) LoCarb is a healthy lifestyle that help keep the weight off
    once it's lost.
    So.... let's all agree to meet back here in say, 5 years!
    :D

    ReplyDelete
  20. Ann - I had to look that one up!
    Chupakabra?
    Where DO you get your awesome references!?

    ReplyDelete
  21. LOL Ann!!!

    Anne H: It's a DEAL!!! :D

    ReplyDelete

I would love to hear from you!