31 August 2020

happy new year

Those Costco Sous Vide Eggs
Are pretty good. 

The classic 10 pounds of fat image. 

Sitting here cat sitting. 
The Day Nurse hates cats. 
So I stayed so she wouldn’t be bothered. 
She’s still here an hour after her shift. 
So I played this. And I set a new record. 
Ahhh - the rewards of life on earth. 

In other news, 
My October vacation 
Is cancelled. So no moms grave. 
It makes no sense 
To quarantine for 2 weeks
For a 2 day trip. 
Better luck next year. 

In other OTHER news,
I’ve rewritten my 10 year plan. 
I’m looking forward to it. 
But I need a few million dollars 
To make it “click”. 

I’ve been having crazy dreams 
About my Ex. Like I opened up
The hood of a car 
To see the motor. 
And a picture of her was there. 
Like Outlander - through the Stones 
But here- through the pistons. 
Back in time. 

I have such clarity about things now. 
It’s cleared up 30 years of doubt 
I credit the blends. 
Specifically, Nebula. 
I’m dumbfounded. 
Energy and clarity. 

The Hypnotic blend 
Is helping me sleep all night now. 
With no wine and no 

This despite the incredible 
work schedule I have 
and the Texas heat wave
 that always comes at the end of summer. 

30 August 2020

back of beyond

Finally some rain 

The worst of summer is behind us. 
I can now start again. 
I’m so glad! 

I have some friends 
who think I’m clinically insane. 
Which is a real shock because 
They offer no help. Only a diagnosis. 
It’s demeaning. 

I’m always getting that. 
Half the people I work with 
think I have Aspergers. 
Which is an insult to Autistic people. 

I’ve never worked in a pandemic. 
It’s not as fun as I thought it would be. 
I’m not depressed. 
I’ve had a few moments of anxiety. 
But I keep pressing on through. 

I hate that these so-called caring people
Would choose to ruin our friendship 
By directly saying
(Not implying) 
that I have a mental illness. 

Time to find new friends! 

Even if it were true - 
I wonder what good they think 
it would do to bring it up 
unsolicited - unasked for. 

People watch too much TV. 
They’re all armchair shrinks. 

Off to work!

27 August 2020

forgot to blog

Hurricane off the coast 
Makes for pretty skies. 

A little rain. 
Not so much.

All day at the clinic. 
All. Freaking. Day. 

This is what I want to be doing. 
Alas. Alack. No. 

25 August 2020

sleep time

I did nothing yesterday. 
Nothing at all. 

Well. I guess that’s not true. 
I did the yard and plants. 
And took my housemate 
To pick up his car. 
The rest of the day I slept. 
In the bed. 

Hurricane is coming. 
Maybe it will wash the virus off. 
I sure with I was calling in to work today! 

24 August 2020


Finally. Some sleep. 
With wine 

I think only one is dead. 
That’s good. 
I was ready to lose them all. 

These so much shade. 
Finally some grass. 

Please excuse my ugly toenails. 
No pedicure available since the lockdown. 
I broke my toe at work yesterday   

I started a Facebook group for August 
To challenge people to really 
Get their life and food together. 
And as usual, I’m the worst offender. 
The last week. 
And I’m just now ready to start. 

23 August 2020

got it!

I got it. 
The reason I dread August. 
I couldn’t sleep. Again. 
And it occurred to me. 
Simple math. 

30 years ago, my then girlfriend 
Called me and told me 
She was marrying a man. 
In 10 days. 
My brain must have remembered this date
Even though I was not consciously aware of it. 

I was about to graduate 
from Nursing School
And sit for the boards. 
Imagine my shock! 
Not being able to talk to her
Or go to her or reason with her! 

I know now her timing
Was designed intentionally 
To sabotage me graduating. 
She sure the fuck 
could have waited a month. 
What’s the rush?

She lied to me the whole time 
I was away in Nursing School. 
And then came the war. 
She wasn’t there to see me off. 
She never wrote or called 
Till much later. 
Years later. I get it now. 

So by letting go 
-and giving up the need to know- 
I found out everything! 

Same with me being bullied at work. 
The nurse was (is) stealing supplies,
And taking them to Africa. 
More for her. Less for the patient. 

And now Low Carb. 
I’m not fretting or worrying about it. 
I feel better when I don’t drink 
Or eat carbs. Gluten. 
Who would continue 
To do something 
That makes them feel worse? 
Not this gal. Lol. 

Long live Jambi