20 March 2023

bad day

Nurses are like teachers. 
We buy stickers and paper and junk
That we need for the kiddos. 
Like sheets and supplies. 
Some medical, some just for fun,
And various sundry items. 

Well, these “love gifts” are
not always welcome. 
It’s a crap shoot what parents want
And what makes them flip out. 

It feels like walking through
The murk and the mire. 
Sucks when you’re trying to help
And the joke is on you. 

So I had a little bit of a 
Panic at work yesterday. 

We moved all the furniture 
and all the supplies 
Out of this kids room and cleaned. 
I don’t like to start projects late on the day
But it does happen. 

I don’t mind the work. 
It’s hard to drop what your doing 
And go to Plan B when no one
Can say for sure what Plan B is.  

I told the mom I needed to step out. 
And I did some Square Breathing. 
Slow count in for 4…
Hold for 4 counts…
Blow out 4 counts…
Expiratory pause for 4 seconds. 

I also did “5 Sounds.”
I teach this to my patients. 
Stay still. Get still. 
And listen. 
Listen for 5 things. Any things! 
So it might be a car going by. 
A machine. A dog barking. 
It takes a moment to hear them. 
But in that moment you can 
slow down and get back in control. 

So in the midst of my meltdowns 
A parakeet flew into the house! 
They caught it and kept it. 
It was a nice change of pace. 

There is a part of me
- the part that walks away - 
That I was fighting with. 
I’m not sure how to handle 
anything anymore. 
I didn’t walk away 
so it’s a good start. 

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