got it!

Ha! 

I got it. 

The reason I dread August. 

I couldn’t sleep. Again. 

And it occurred to me. 

Simple math. 

30 years ago, my then girlfriend 

Called me and told me 

She was marrying a man. 

In 10 days. 

My brain must have remembered this date

Even though I was not consciously aware of it. 

I was about to graduate 

from Nursing School

And sit for the boards. 

Imagine my shock! 

Not being able to talk to her

Or go to her or reason with her! 

I know now her timing

Was designed intentionally 

To sabotage me graduating. 

She sure the fuck 

could have waited a month. 

What’s the rush?

She lied to me the whole time 

I was away in Nursing School. 

And then came the war. 

She wasn’t there to see me off. 

She never wrote or called 

Till much later. 

Years later. I get it now. 

So by letting go 

-and giving up the need to know- 

I found out everything! 

Same with me being bullied at work. 

The nurse was (is) stealing supplies,

And taking them to Africa. 

More for her. Less for the patient. 

And now Low Carb. 

I’m not fretting or worrying about it. 

I feel better when I don’t drink 

Or eat carbs. Gluten. 

Who would continue 

To do something 

That makes them feel worse? 

Not this gal. Lol. 

Long live Jambi