31 January 2019

baby momma

My new fave go to food. 
Nachos with pork rinds. Not chips. 

Clean the car and wait in the lobby. 

OMAD fasting and still high BG. 
Well. High for fasting. 

Jesus Christ, man. 
Let people sleep. 
Leave people alone. 
And let them fucking sleep. 

Ain’t that the truth. 

I went to see the Baby’s Mom
And we talked and talked. 
A few good long hours.
It reopened the wounds. 
I cried all the way home. 


  1. Anne, you say you cried with the mom and afterwards. Over a period of 18 months I lost my eldest sister (84 and thus, expected), my beloved middle son (aged 36 and definitely NOT expected...aortic dissection), and my husband of 45 years(massive brain hemorrhage). Talking about them and crying over them is the most healing thing I can do. I bonded with a mom at school who'd lost a son during her pregnancy. She told me that tears are just love, expressed through the eyes. I have clung to that. If we didn't love these people, we wouldn't have tears for them. Bless you for the heart you bring to your very demanding job. And kudos on the weight loss. I have recently started using Snake Juice as I OMAD fast. No real problem with OMAD since I have done it fairly routinely over the past few years without the benefit of snake juice. I'd planned a 72 hour fast with only SJ this week, but I realized that I am already about as screwed up about food as a person can get without an actual eating disorder, so I didn't want to flirt with that. I look around me at my coworkers and friends and family and I marvel that they actually EAT. I feel like an anthropologist studying some strange race of people whose metabolisms are so unlike mine. Lunch? What the hell? And they eat guilt-free! I've been dieting since childhood; guilt is part of my soul. Anyway, you are doing fine with the low-carb, and I thank you for being a leader among us. And keep crying over your Love Dove, you are doing the right thing.

  2. Carole! What a tragedy! I can’t imagine all that going on. Words just don’t capture the depth of the pain. I’m so sorry all that happened.
    Thanks for your kind words. And thanks for sharing that beautiful, heart-wrenching story.


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