‘this the season for weight loss ads

Why is it that every year about this time, people write ads that say that they- and they alone - have THE key to weight loss and fitness? 

They all sound something like this! 

It isn’t your fault- Hey, listen, I understand...

My wife (husband etc) struggled with weight problems...

She tried everything... and was about to give up...

Couldn’t keep up with the kids... always tired... 

I still loved her (him it them etc)...

I was determined to help find a solution...

And then it hit me - the missing link 

to all weight loss problems every where...

The answer was right there- 

yet no one seemed to see it... 

so obvious... so natural...

Imagine  that- me - an humble engineer 

(teacher housewife etc)...

I ran it by my doctor and he 

shook his head in disbelief...

I showed my mom and her sisters, 

and the weight just fell 

off them all seeming overnight...

It’s as if the hands of time 

went backwards- more energy, more youth...

All yours for $99 plus shipping and handling...

Unless you order today for $9.99

And hurry before they make me take this down -

Big pharmaceutical companies 

Don’t want this to get out! 

Sorry, but  this offer won’t last...

But your results will! 

Etc etc etc. 

Let’s write the perfect weight loss ad! 

Offer void where you live. 

Your mileage may vary.