05 April 2011

the purpose of anger

I had a pediatric patient once ask me "What are feelings? 
Why are they called that?" And I told her I had not a clue.
Maybe feelings are emotions that are so strong, 
we actually feel them in our body.
Maybe they are where our thoughts actually turn into forms.
If someone really want to explore it, there is a great post on Wikipedia here.

I guess I never really went about trying to have feelings.
Just avoid them.  Or just have the "Good" ones. Obviously!
We all want a life of only that. 
What a set-up for failure and disaster that type of thinking is.

No one likes to get their feelings hurt.
You can actually feel it happen inside when it does.
And we maybe try to only "let our anger out" when it is justified.
Or so we tell ourselves.
In some cultures, "going mad" is a type of insanity. 
Maybe anger and rage are moments of reactive insanity.

Obsessive behaviour is said to be in the realm of passive anger! (a link)
And overt displays of anger - like rage or bullying -
 are obviously more aggressive.

Maybe anger is an attempt to get someone to do something....
Maybe God or god or the Universe (call it what you will).

I've read somewhere that all feelings and emotions 
can be traced to either fear, or Love.
If it isn't Love - it is fear.

Also, depression is more associated with the past....
And anxiety is more associated with the future....
Sometimes it seems mixed. 
For example, a person might seem depressed about the future.
But only when they base their future projections - on past results!
(Neither of which exist, by the way... There's only "Now."
But that's another story for another day.)

So yeah, what is the purpose of anger?
Why am I amazed when people eat to cope?
Or drink. Food-drunk (link) 
Or work-out to death. Maybe all kinds of judgements 
exist about good coping skills, and what is acceptable.... or healthy.

Coping skills and defense mechanisms. And anger and fear.
Oh, My!

And here we are, fooled by randomness.
Or not!
Still, here in the blogs, we focus on our behavior mostly.
And outcome.... I suppose behavior could be a symptom of intention.

Well, I guess we all are doing the best we can.
Even if that's not very good at any given time.
So I am finally learning to be more understanding.
And maybe be a little more kind....
And I get over my mini-meltdowns quicker.

Its like being tempted by chocolate, for example.
Maybe we'll always be tempted, but won't always yield to the cravings.
Maybe the cravings will go away. (And maybe they won't.)
Maybe we think they have, but they show up in another form.
One that we think serves our purpose better.
And we know we have gotten really good at fooling ourselves.

A better strategy might be to find out what our purpose is!?
To better understand our inconsistent attempts. Maybe our
real purpose does not line up with our stated one.
Hence the conflict and inconsistency.

Sorry if it's too deep or thought provoking.
Weight-loss brings up such "heavy" topics!

Hope you are having a great day!
It really is all good!

24 comments:

  1. Heavy topic, indeed. Hope you are having a great day, Anne!

    Love the new format!

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  2. Thought provoking for me today, Anne. Love the blog facelift. It looks great.

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  3. If I could control my feelings and stick to just the good ones, I would be in a lot better place both mentally and physically. I always try to eat my bad emotions!

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  4. I have some little anger issues sometimes and wonder where it comes from and why? Great post.

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  5. I used to suppress my feelings and only show the happy side. It drove one boyfriend nuts and he would do things to make me angry just to see if he could get that emotion out of me.

    Feelings need to be expressed. And sometimes we suppress old feelings of pain and betrayal and feed them with chocolate to numb the feelings insteaed of acknowledging them and moving on. And some people are just toxic and must be avoided because of feelings they bring into our lives while other people are like a ray of sunshine.

    Very deep topic and one to "chew" on for a while.

    Hope you're having a happy, peaceful day.

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  6. Kelly - you are reading my mind here!
    I am having a much better day and
    I am determined to find a way to learn from my
    reactions and mini-melt downs......
    So I won't have to keep doing it!

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  7. I have a lot of angers and regrets about the past. I have anxiety about the future. But I also have a lot of love and joy in my past and a lot of hope for the future. Being human is a mixed bag.

    I do think it's FEELINGS because we FEEL them. Feelings happen in the brain, but we can react to rejection and depression with chemicals and neural reactions. We're a body of chemicals and ions and hormones and fluids and muscle and skin...and feelings aren't invisible. They show up as muscle reactions and chemical reactions and things firing and happening in the brain.

    I think one reason we can control feelings is because we can control our bodies--to some extent. Which is why Navy SEALS can train themselves to react in X action and valiant ways rather than Y fearful and run-way ways. You can calm yourself when bad things happen. You can learn to be composed, poised, and to breathe deeply.

    I think part of what maturity is is learning not to fly off with emotions and learning to calm and compose teh body and mind in tough situations. To be...hardy and flexible and not let things get extreme.

    It's still really ahrd work. :)

    Hugs..

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  8. Tough situations I can handle.
    Surprise + Ridiculous .... still needs some work!

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  9. When I get angry...I use it in my workout.

    Almost forty pounds down as a result. LOL!

    I work it all off. ;)

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  10. surprise + ridiculous usually catches us off guard! I wish I knew what I had missed over the weekend, but I know its not really important. Whats important is you are moving on from it and learning from it and Im glad!!
    Buh-Bye and good riddance to whatever makes us feel shitty!!!

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  11. Mmmm I think Princess Dieter is on to something.

    Feelings originate in the brain...so who or what is it that controls the brain? Where or better yet, Who, does it get its orders from?

    Who am I? This may have been the real question all along!

    Just like life you think you are headed down one path then something comes along and gets ya thinking. This decision to loose weight may not have anything to do with my body but everything to do with my Mind.

    Whose voice will I take my orders from?

    Maybe the purpose of anger is to decide to take orders from a kind and
    benevolent voice. Maybe the weightloss we are seeking is just a weightloss for the MInd. Letting go of the voices that keep us frightened and fearful. Maybe it really can be a hip *hop* happy Mindtrippin weight loss experience.

    I hope you don't feel you need to apologize for feeling less than excuberate on somedays. What makes this blog awesome is that you share from your experiences. Just know that if things get a bit heavy I won't leave you. I would even understand if you put up a sign that says you've gone fishing, or the site is underconstruction and will return next week at its previously scheduled time. You get what I'm saying.

    I have seen how you skipping one day here had me refreshing the site for my next bite of LowCarb blogging. An addiction is an addiction. And the Obsessive Compulsive behavior of checking for your lastest posting had me thinking I have some unresolved passive aggressive issues.
    Well, thats good to know. So my friend I shall let it go at that. And I embrace your final words in the post. It's all good!

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  12. L.A.Annie
    I feel like I just ReBooted my Mind.
    Now I'm mostly past the food issues.
    Getting there with the weight issues.

    But yeah, I might be getting to the "real" part of all these changes.
    Funny, I already know in my heart it will all work out.
    So why - or what - would I fear (or dread?)

    That, as they say, is the question!

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  13. Mostly I don't try to figure out feelings any more, or tell myself I can learn from them. Coming up with reasons, and trying to predict the future, are sure signs that I'm trying to create an illusion of control--sort of a trap, I suppose, a way to avoid the present moment.

    Very interesting discussion, though!

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  14. Yes - true - and thanks!
    My learning is in the primate stages:
    A. It hurts when I do "this"
    B. So don't do this!

    Some how, some where, some time -
    I just gotta get this goofy stick out of my own eye
    And quit poking myself with it!
    All the better to see with then, my dear!

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  15. My Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner was at my desk with me the other day listening to me spew my RAGE. As I was talking, he asked me for some paper and drew something which he then hung on my cubicle wall...RAGE FROM WHERE?

    I think I know...

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  16. Bleed it out!!! I love to listen to that song when I am in a rage!

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  17. Great post Anne and yes very though provoking and also deeper then I'm usually thinking about. We need emotions to survive, good, bad, ugly or indifferent we just need them. Some we can understands, others maybe not meant too. Wishy washy, yep that's me today. So much happening, so many thoughts.
    Take care and have a blessed nights sleep.

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  18. It was interesting that in a recent episode of the show "Ruby", she saw in herself that she only wanted to feel the Happy emotions, not any of the negative ones. And you mentioned that:

    "...Or just have the "Good" ones. Obviously! We all want a life of only that. What a set-up for failure and disaster that type of thinking is."

    I guess that is why I had such a hard time with my last post... I didn't want to admit how angry I was over the topic. Yet once I was honest, and hit "post", I felt like I had been genuine, and felt better.

    Excellent discussion... lots to think about.

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  19. ok WOW.
    'if it isnt love it's fear'
    very very timely for me.
    for us.
    for my home.

    THANK YOU.

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  20. This is not too deep; it makes me think. I like that. Like you, I grew up hiding from feelings. I learned to "disappear" when I was scared or angry. Allowing myself to have feelings, face them, deal with them if I need to, has been difficult to learn as an adult. Having feelings is my way of knowing I am alive and I count, I matter.

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  21. This one is well worth a bookmark, underlining, highlighting, copy n pasting, forwarding...

    Get it?

    Fear and love. Yes, I agree with that one.

    Craving chocolate a lot lately. Angry that it wouldn't help. Fearful I'll forget it won't help and consume it in vast quantities.

    Obsession = passive anger. Yikes. What a concept. Gotta look more at anger. What's under obsession? What is that little devil anger all about?

    More questions than answers here. And that's a good thing...

    I think...

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