31 July 2019

pain day


Mine is a little lower. 
Perfectly bilateral. 
I am certain I overused a muscle. 
Lifting my patient the last day. 

He likes to push down,
When we transfer to  the wheelchair. 
And he pushes down
With all his little might. 
Now this. 

I suspect the pain will last 
about 2 weeks. 
As pain does. 


Last night I couldn’t settle down. 
High pulse. 
I had some Keto Ice Cream
About 6 hours prior. 

It sat “on” my stomach 
Until here, and I threw up 
and up and up and up and up. 

The red is awake. 
It hurts to move. 

Ice helps. Heat helps. 
But I threw up all that Advil
-again- 
Big ulcer is back. 


I could just feel my heart pounding. 


Took my Blood Glucose. 
Wasn’t that. 


Just wait for it to pass, 
I guess. 

I worked on the letter 
To the State for 3 hours. 
I “sat” on it overnight 
To make sure I still felt good 
about sending it. 
I do. 

I will probably find a new case. 
Which is sad for me, the patient,
And the family. 
But I can’t keep going like this. 

Most of the time in life, 
we have so make adjustments. 
Set goals. 
Deal with consequences. 

I was never super aggressive 
With anything but getting my 
Nursing License. 
And even then I barely studied. 

I’m glad I didn’t need to reinvent myself 
To become “super successful.”
I never fully bought into that lie. 

Just happy to have a decent car,
And a safe place to stay, 
Away from chaos and bullying. 
And some good food to eat. 


All my life’s goals are already met. 
I made it this far
With no permanent disease 
Or disability. 
My body is strong 
And I like being healthy. 
This will pass. 

30 July 2019

office day


A beautiful basket of flowers. 
First for my housemate. 
From her theater friends. 
Now for my Love Dove. 


Another trip to Baby Land. 
This would have been 
her 2nd birthday. 






I miss her every day. 

I look back and see a pretty sick 
Little Miss - I didn’t notice at the time. 
Or maybe I did.
And it seemed different then. 


I gave great and grave thought
To writing a formal complaint 
Against another nurse. 
But it had to be done. 
In the interest of patient safety. 


But first- 
The Bathroom Selfie. 
In the office corridor. 


Decided to try Dry Fasting. 
I hurt my back at work 
And this can only help. 

In Autophagy, 
The bad cells are “gobbled up”
And cleaned out. 

I’m super hydrating first. 


I bought some herbs that go with a 
Modified Dry Fast. 

Everyone says they’re the perfect 
Fasting Companion.
We shall see. 

So far, so good. 

29 July 2019

continuity


I ate this. 

I’m only blogging today 
For continuity. 

I caught the nurse. 
I actually caught her. 
This time, she actively messed up. 
She switched out bottles 
of medication. 

After all of the 
medications she didn’t give. 
All the formula she didn’t give. 
All the way she weasels out 
Of why she didn’t do her job. 

Is she just stupid and lazy?
Or worse? 
Does she mean to harm these kids? 

We have her! At last. 
6 months later. 
*sigh*
But the family didn’t believe me. 
 
The bottle in question was 
Acetaminophen. Tylenol. 
The label said one thing 
But the contents were something else. 

They took the bottle to the pharmacist. 
He didn’t want to get in trouble. 
So he lied and said it was a mix up. 
But still Tylenol. 
It wasn’t. 

I place my license on the line every day. 
In my heart I know I can’t stay. 
I want to. 
But I know it won’t work. 

I made my statement. 
They made theirs. 

So I talked to the boss. 
I guess I’m an old school nurse. 
I guess I don’t want to see kids 
Die at the hands of another. 

Choose carefully, sweet family. 
And good luck with having a killer
In your home. 

They say she’s nice;
She brings cake. 

I have a few forms to fill out. 
And I am going to the board. 

I caught her coming from one job
To an overnight job. 

Thanks to KFC. 
She’s a fast food junkie. 
And she left her receipt 
On the floor. 

All the Board has to do 
Is compare her notes. 
Thanks, Colonel! 


I woke up today defeated. 
Exhausted. 
I told the mother I felt like someone 
Shot me in the heart. 

I have little aches and pains. 
And a headache and back pain. 

I’m going to do nothing but rest.  
I’ve left the paper trail. 


28 July 2019

fictitious disorder imposed on another


Sleep but only because I took medication. 
Just OTC Unisom. 


Being a witness to a sheath crime
Is hard. You don’t know what to do next. 

It’s like playing chess on several layers 
At the same time. 


This is me when I thought
 the nurses were just lazy 
And didn’t give the meds 
Or do the treatments. 


This is me when I found direct, 
I disputable hard evidence 
That they did actually commit a crime.
Against a patient. 

And worst. 
Stress pounds. 
It’s like taking cortisone. 

I just can’t eat. 
And I guess I won’t. 
If my body doesn’t need it. 
Then I’m trained enough
With fasting to wait. 

Maybe each crying jag
Is about a pound or flesh. 

27 July 2019

aloha


I stayed up late again 
getting everyone packed and ready. 


Pretty Summer sky. 
I have 10 months before my next “journey”


I love this Time Hop feature. 

It’s been about 2 years
 since my trip to Boston. 

When I came back home,
I started fasting. 
I’m ready to start again. 


4 years since I broke my leg. 
This was my first day back
To full time shifts. 
So nearly 2 months of torture. 
And being basically bed bound. 
And in pain. 

Now here we are. 

I’m super busy at work. 
It looks like they want to keep 
the Murdering Nurse. 
I don’t get why. 

Probably something that has
 nothing to do with  anything.

I’m not walking right now
But I plan to. 
I helped so many people this month 
On my days off, 
That I haven’t had a day off! 

I’m taking 3 days off now
With nothing to do. 
I’m going to get as prepared as I can, 
And try some dry fasting. 

It’s good to stay at home for dry fasting. 

26 July 2019

ok here we go


My housemate leaves 
In a few days  for what was 
a pre-planned vacation. 
There’s no amount of recovery 
She can’t do away-
That she could do here. 

Or however that saying goes. 

Since it’s already paid for -
Off she goes. 


New shoes. 
Size 8 
I keep going up in size. 


Still giving the watch a work out. 
But July’s goals fell flat. 

For a month plus,
I’ve been helping people 
on my off days. 

Here’s how it goes:
Nothing 

Nothing. 
Nothing 

Nothing nothing nothing 
Plenty of  Nothing -

Then ... everything! 

I have no complaints. 
July was good. 
I ate Keto Ice Cream. 
And steaks every day. 

And watched Outlander. 

But now, we’ll try again for August. 
Pete will be back soon. 

I wanted to try some dry fasting. 
Before he got back. 
I think it’s just too hot right now. 
And I have too much to do. 




25 July 2019

yukky night


This says I slept. 
But I didn’t sleep much. 
So much reflux. 


Good news. 
I don’t wear a 4x Swimsuit. 
In a different brand - Dolfin- 
I wear a 16. 
My friend let me try this on. 
And I was “swimming” in it. 
Lol. 


This actually made me ill. 
I love sugar-free cheesecake. 
But not today.

I took my BG before and after. 
And it was 100 both times. 
So maltitol caused no BG spike. 

It caused reflux, though! 


Rebel Ice Cream. 
Didn’t cause a Blood Glucose spike. 
But it’s not for every day. 

It seems I am under the Rule Of Twos. 
I can’t have the same thing 
two days in a row. 
Not wine or sweets or anything. 
I need to rotate. 


Hamburger, Beef Sausage. 
Mushrooms and Onions. 


Avocado. 
Pork Rinds. 


I went with some friends 


To get my first pedicure. 


I can’t believe it’s been over 6 months 
Since I first turned that nurse in for hurting 
My boy patient by starving him. 

Nothing has changed. 
So I’ll be taking the matter 
into my own hands. 

I’m sure the stress is hard. 
I feel stressed all the time. 


24 July 2019

steak and shrimp


Get the grill nice and hot. 
Like a fire. 


After it burns down, 
It turns to ash. 
And theya is what you want. 


Sheesh Kabobs. 


Indirect heat for the steaks. 
Once you make the grill marks. 


Make a little flare up
By tossing a few drops 
Of olive oil on the fire
Good for that char. 


Plate it. 






The cat approof my new shoes. 


New Pork Rinds on the market. 


Honey Chipotle 
1 carb per 14 grams. 


8 servings per bag. 
Not a big (or realistic) serving size. 
Be careful. 

Sez Food Critic and 
Grill Master Anne !