Ever feel like life is a great big classroom -
And everyone else "gets it" but you?
That's how I've been taking it lately.
It's like the teacher says
"OK people listen up!
This is a test. A learning device.
I will now put you in a situation,
And all you have to do is
remember this one thing:
"It is a test. A trick.
The problems aren't real problems.....
Actually, they keep changing form
because the "problems" are all the same.
But you can't really solve the problems.
The test goes on until you "get it!"
"The same identical problem.
The ego wants to trick you.
It is your job to see through it all,
and figure out that it is just another
ego trick. Got it?"
OK! Sure I've got it!
This is going to be easy, right?
So the other day.....
I woke up late...kinda groggy.... no caffeine.
Little hint of a headache. And cold.
Went to warm up the truck.
You can probably already guess what happens next.
I locked the keys in the truck again!!
This time with the engine running,
and the heater on high!
Now. I have a second apartment key.
That's a no-brainer, eh?
But just last week, I passed up
a lock-making opportunity to get
a second truck key made. "Nah-"
I boasted. "I'll save the $60 and just be real careful!
I mean, how dang dumb can one blond be?"
Turns out, you should never ask that.
Remembering, of course, my last Key Fiasco. (link)
And how truly unprepared and unseasoned I was. Am.
"Hark - is that a cannon I hear?"
So they guy comes 2 full hours later.
Nice guy - "Very busy morning!" he says.
Took him all of 30 seconds.
And to think, I was going to shiv him.
But I didn't have my keys, of course!
Just kidding. Dark humor, I reckon.
I tell the guy "Do Not Leave Here
without making me an extra key!"
Please and Thank You.
Then I remember my lesson for the day.
It's like a trick - to fall for the angst.
The temptation to fall for the trick -
To feel powerless, upset...
It is what it is....
And all the holiday pie
and donuts and cookies
and other prison-house delights....
(all of them)
They are a test.... NOT a reward.... not a treat!
A test of me not being tempted and falling for it again.
Then having to start over again and again on my calories.
But the worst part is when I doubt myself.
And my ability to do anything in the world right.
Some people say it's like an addiction.
If an alcoholic went to a bar....
If a crack head went back to slinging...
If a super obese person worked in a donut shop...
Or a sex addict in a peep-show /porn shop...
I don't know about all that, but I do know that I
can't even eat one thing (in moderation) that's "off limits"
And that is why it's off limits!
So I remember this "test" idea.
Instantly calmed down,
Did the dishes.... while I waited.
Made all the calls... it was going to be ok.
Now, I can learn to apply the learning to all kinds
of situations. Like with piano scales, or rudiments.
Or even the alphabet. Back to grammar school.
At least this time, I might get to take off the dunce cap!
I seem to wear alot of hats, lately - no?
Hope your day is going not knuckle - headedly!!