15 December 2010


Ever feel like life is a great big classroom -
And everyone else "gets it" but you?

That's how I've been taking it lately.

It's like the teacher says
"OK people listen up!
This is a test. A learning device.
I will now put you in a situation,
And all you have to do is
remember this one thing:

"It is a test. A trick.
The problems aren't real problems.....
Actually, they keep changing form
because the "problems" are all the same.
But you can't really solve the problems.
The test goes on until you "get it!"

"The same identical problem.
The ego wants to trick you.
It is your job to see through it all,
and figure out that it is just another
ego trick. Got it?"

OK! Sure I've got it!
This is going to be easy, right?

So the other day.....
I woke up late...kinda groggy.... no caffeine.
Little hint of a headache. And cold.
Went to warm up the truck.

You can probably already guess what happens next.
I locked the keys in the truck again!!
This time with the engine running, 
and the heater on high!

Now. I have a second apartment key.
That's a no-brainer, eh?
But just last week, I passed up
a lock-making opportunity to get
a second truck key made. "Nah-"
I boasted. "I'll save the $60 and just be real careful!
I mean, how dang dumb can one blond be?"

Turns out, you should never ask that.

Remembering, of course, my last Key Fiasco. (link)
And how truly unprepared and unseasoned I was. Am.
"Hark - is that a cannon I hear?"

So they guy comes 2 full hours later.
Nice guy - "Very busy morning!" he says.
Took him all of 30 seconds.

And to think, I was going to shiv him.
But I didn't have my keys, of course!
Just kidding. Dark humor, I reckon.

I tell the guy "Do Not Leave Here
without making me an extra key!"
Please and Thank You.

Then I remember my lesson for the day.
It's like a trick - to fall for the angst.
The temptation to fall for the trick -
To feel powerless, upset...

It is what it is....
And all the holiday pie
and donuts and cookies
and other prison-house delights....
(all of them)

They are a test.... NOT a reward.... not a treat!
A test of me not being tempted and falling for it again.
Then having to start over again and again on my calories.

But the worst part is when I doubt myself.
And my ability to do anything in the world right.

Some people say it's like an addiction.
If an alcoholic went to a bar....
If a crack head went back to slinging...
If a super obese person worked in a donut shop...
Or a sex addict in a peep-show /porn shop...

I don't know about all that, but I do know that I 
can't even eat one thing (in moderation) that's  "off limits" 
And that is why it's off limits!

So I remember this "test" idea.
Instantly calmed down,
Did the dishes.... while I waited.
Made all the calls... it was going to be ok.

Now, I can learn to apply the learning to all kinds
of situations. Like with piano scales, or rudiments.
Or even the alphabet. Back to grammar school.

At least this time, I might get to take off the dunce cap!
I seem to wear alot of hats, lately - no?
Hope your day is going not knuckle - headedly!!


  1. Oh man, I hate when that happens!

  2. I needed that...thanks Anne. :)

  3. Yep, me too. Having trouble not eating that first little bite. Sigh.

  4. Your truck was running 2 hours with the heat blasting?! Yikes. Good thing you don't have any problems with it overheating.

    Hey, maybe instead of getting an extra key made you can just learn to break into your own truck? Always thinking outside the box, I am. :P

  5. Great post! Better insight! Thanks Anne

  6. I keep an extra jeep key in my purse just for occasions like that. I've needed it three times so far this year. I hate to think of ever locking my purse in my locked vehicle. Then what?

  7. LMAO--"And to think, I was going to shiv him."
    Im forever getting really upset about things I have no control over, when something goes wrong. Its always my husband who tells me to calm myself, that its gonna be OK. Who knows what I did without him....I do, went nuts and just got myself all flustered up! Life is funny. And things usually will be OK...whenever the guy gets there..and if you dont shiv him!

  8. Shiving is just *wrong*
    Don't try this at home!

  9. You know, I've been harping on how we need extra garage keys and how I WANT an extra car key (cause i have a true gift for losing spares). This is a good reminder. I vow to see a locksmith before CHRISTMAS!

    How i cured my key locking habit (which was dire back in my twenties). I taped a note to the dashboard to check that I have keys before exiting. I got in the habit of NOT closing the door until I felt the key in my hand or saw it. It took a while, but it becomes second nature. But it started with lots of taped notes (to steering wheel, dashboard, radio, driver window. It was dorky looking, but worked.)

    Stay warm, snooks.

  10. Normally it is not a problem for me as my husband can pick locks, but I happened to lock my keys in the car once when he was away .... Ouch. I lost a set last year. They're in this house somewhere. I just can't find them.

  11. Last year when Mr. Zug was overseas I was so worried about locking my keys in the car that I kept his keys in my pocket at all times.

  12. I loved this post. Very insightful, Anne.

  13. I agree, we are always being taught and it is great when we actually learn too!

    Some great blogs again ♥

  14. On the bright side-- At least the truck didn't run out of gas while you were waiting for the slowpoke to show up :=)

    This is a really good post Anne. I'm pretty sure I see the bright light (bulb) shining though. Great job on keeping it together. A+++

    xoxo jj

  15. JJ - I might just be on my way this time!
    Fingers crossed!

  16. I've done that before - not good. So... what do I do?? Have an extra key made! Brilliant!! two weeks later? I do it again, car locked, motor running, heat blasting... Hey, I'm brilliant!! I have an EXTRA key!! Where is that damn key?? In the purse that is sitting on the passenger seat getting REAL toasty warm..............

    I live a blonde life...

  17. well, well, well
    if it were possible
    to learn the trick
    then how could
    there ever be
    three stooges?

    pisser about the key
    but good you
    made the calls
    used the time
    and let go
    a little

    temptations abound
    and one little bite
    turns a woman to a bum

    hats are fun

  18. A really excellent post, thanks Anne. I am being tested RIGHT NOW! By all the goodies I bought to put in other people's Christmas hampers. They are sitting there in their bright coloured sparkly wrapping paper just waiting for me to weaken ...

  19. Oh girlfriend!

    All I know is that I'm grateful when you walk us through your process.
    And how you find the perfect pictures just astounds me.

    Just proves anything and everything can be a "special relationship".
    Trucky is so loyal and true...and gosh darn expensive!
    Can't live with him can't live without him...or her :)

  20. He, She or It!
    Maybe Trucky is a Diva, just like me!

  21. sorry you locked your keys in!!!
    But you handled it beautifully, and it made a GREAT post :)


I would love to hear from you!