10 August 2009

hark! is that a cannon I hear?

And then there's the one about a struggling actor. She finally gets her big break and is given a walk-on role in a play. Her only line is "Hark, is that a cannon I hear?" uttered, presumably, after a cannon shot is heard.

She is very excited. She spends the entire week rehearsing her one and only line.

"Hark, is that a cannon I hear?"

Everywhere she goes. "Hark, is that a cannon I hear?"

Finally, the evening of the play arrives and our girl is ready.
The scene is on. The stage is hers! At last.

The cannon noise catches her by surprise.
She jumps back, whimpering "What the **** was that?"

Now that's the perfect diet slash weight loss metaphor!

The picture, by the way, is me after work last night, waiting for the locksmith.
Seems I locked the keys in the car with the motor running.
It only took a couple of hours extra.
"What the **** was that!"


  1. you need a key hidden in an unsuspecting place under the car carriage. if it weren't for my "secret" key, the guy owning pop-a-lock would be a whole lot richer!

  2. just when you think you've got it down
    life throws in a zinger ...
    let's see how well she knows her stuff

    she just wasn't seasoned enough.

  3. Been there and done it way out in the country :)

  4. Your expression says it all. What is that, a little S-10 or Ranger? I used to have one just like it.

  5. At least you didn't lock yourself inside...

  6. Don't you HATE when that happens? Looks like you are abiding in peace despite the trial. Good job.

  7. At least you didn't lock yourself inside,,,that is hilarious. What a bummer when that happens, losing your key. I locked myself out of my house getting the mail from the mailbox and it was about -2o...Finally remember where the hidden key was...But still what The ---- was that.

  8. I'm not even going to ask how you managed to pull that one! Like the time I put my key in the car door to unlock it and the damned key broke off in the door. How do we do these things?

  9. That so stinks! It happens to all of us from time to time. It's not such a big deal if my Husband is around. It's a much bigger deal when he's out of town.

    I had a WTF was that moment Saturday. A dude was running down the street as if he were on fire carrying a dead tree like a flag. Yeah, up over his head. The dead pine needles left a trail behind him. It was the oddest darn thing ...

  10. Great story!
    Sorry to hear about the car issue.

  11. Love the cannon story - that is so bleddy true - you prepare like mad and then you still get a surprise.

    I live in terror of doing that with my car - my trunk (we say boot, but that would confuse you entirely) shuts and locks and if I am daft enough to do it with my keys in a bag or something, which I have just stowed in the bo- er trunk, then I am right royally stuffed. So, I obsessively pause and check my hand for my key about three times before I shut the boo- er trunk! Seriously it is annoying.

    Must stash spare key with neighbour - both of us!

  12. Sometimes the subconscious mind demands that we have a little extra downtime. :-)

    I've been driving my wife's Prius around lately. It's impossible to get locked out of that thing.

  13. Of course it was AFTER working late you realized the keys were locked in the car. Oy! I am so sorry.

    I'm just back from vacation. I missed your posts so I'm off to catch up now.


  14. Love the phooning. Hated the locking the keys in your car. After a long night shift...eeek! That would have sucked.

    Some how I have missed you the past couple of days. I need to catch up!

  15. I never was seasoned enough, I guess.


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