20 October 2010

I need a butterfly (band-aid)

First  - I 'm ok.
Obviously, or I wouldn't be blogging this!

Or would I? (lol)

I found out something about myself last night.

My neighbor was helping me, taking a picture of me
holding a tape measure. I dreamed (actually) that I
should use the tripod, but I didn't.

So when she dropped the little camera,
and broke it, I was more than a little upset.
(Fragile little buggars, those cameras!)

Upset with myself, that I should have listened
to some internal guide;  should have been more careful.

I went in, took my little salad plate - took it and threw it down
into the sink.  (Temper, temper, eh?) An unlikely angle 
bounced it back - Right into my forehead. 

I didn't even know what hit me!

Suddenly blood was every where - I couldn't 
even see!  Blood was even in my eye.
And the pain! It hurt so much, I didn't even cry.

Capillary bleeding of the face is pretty dramatic!

 Let's just say I looked a little like this!
(Gory link; sorry!)

I am learning to think that things are helpful.
Someone once told me that. I thought it was true then. 
Now I know it's true.

So when my little camera bit the dust
(literally) I stopped to ask the requisite question:

What is my camera for?
What does it represent that I should be so upset over it?
Certainly not the camera itself. I have another one.
Almost just like it. (Wanted a back up battery - which costs
just as much as the camera itself! Hence - two cameras!)

No. It somehow represents a link to "reality."
Blogging reality. And the "reality" of the past.
Which cannot be "real" if the present is real.

A substitute reality of "ego" things - approval,
endorsement, expression, creativity....
But a camera is just a device. It's not really those things.
It just stands for those things.

Maybe the same thing as food once was.
Or now being pseudo- svelte is. It's very fashionable
to to a Big Loser these days.

All this while I'm laying on the floor.
I did lose alot of blood. 

Got the bleeding to stop. And I have plenty of
hydrogen peroxide!  So now I'm all cleaned up.

So now I have a headache. And a scar.
My face, which has barely even had a pimple,
will now boast a scar. A perfect symbol of
a struggle with an entity... my own ego!

Social butterfly. Madame Butterfly.
I need a butterfly dressing.
Release the butterflies!

Back to "it's all good." It's taking less time
to get all the way around the block with these
thoughts. Finally! 

I'm glad I opted for the "long" way to recovery.
Those quick fixes and lateral movements 
were fine fixes for a moment.
But as they say in the world of construction:
"If you don't have time to fix it right,
When are you going to find time to fix it again?"

YouTube Video
M Butterfly
Music: Lust and Caution
(Falling Rain, Wong Chia Chi's Theme)

And: Tonight, when I got home, there was a note on the door.
My neighbor gave me $$$ to replace the camera.
I gave the $$$ back -  and all is forgiven.
Back to priorities.

Moral of the story - don't throw your favorite red plate!


  1. OMG that looks bad. So sorry. We can compare scars now. smile.

  2. Oh wow! I had a friend who once, while driving, turned around to slap her children (out of anger) because they wouldn't stop fighting...guess what happened? She ran into a curb, crashed and broke her hand! (I don't think "LOL" is appropriate here, or is it!).

    Glad you're o.k.!!

  3. Oh my gosh - talk about instant Karma! Glad you are ok...interesting what can set us off, right?

  4. Right! - And that's exactly what I learned about myself.
    Exactly what areas need a little more "refinement!"

  5. At first I thought maybe you tripped over some carbohydrates.

    I've heard it said that lack of carbs can cause some seratonin issues and make it easier to lose your temper. Keep an eye on that or your neighbor may call the nice men with the butterfly nets over to help you out.

    I hope it heals well!

  6. Oh noes! And it had to be a RED plate!

  7. Oh honey!

    Butterfly Kisses for the boo boo!

  8. Double bummer. Scar and camera. Sometimes we do the dumbest things (of course we only figure that out later). Take care.And no more temper tantrums with breakables..

  9. Ouch! Glad things are OK again with your kind (but maybe a little clumsy) neighbor.

  10. Your sound like mike, he always says he never gets mad at people just things. glad your ok. That darn snowball effect. When I get mad I just pee my pants lol that always clues me in I've went a bit to far with my temper lol.

  11. I am not mad at anyone but myself....
    And that's the irony of the whole thing.
    This last year of weight-loss has revealed
    alot of things about myself that I guess were hidden.

  12. Ouch!
    Self-induced boo boos can be embarrassing. Gee, ask me how I know?!!
    Hope it heals fast.

  13. Ouch! Looks like you took a bad situation and turned it into a good learning experience- so it's all good! Hope your cut heals quickly!

  14. Did you weigh yourself after the blood loss? I would guess that you're down about a pound!

  15. Hope you heal up quick!!! Glad you're no longer upset about the camera or the plate, those are just 'things'...hugs!

  16. Interesting observations. Life is a great teacher when we observe without judging!

    I'm enrolled in a Course in Miracles. Having fun with it. Look forward each day to my new "lesson."


    Now. This is funny. The Jehovah's Witnesses just interupted my typing (above) and we had a nice conversation. Now I'm back to say, Bye bye! Have a lovely day and I hope your noggin heals well.


  17. Blood-letting is no longer an acceptable treatment for western culture weight loss, Anne. Good try though ... I give you points for creativity.


    Joking aside, I'm sorry you had a bad evening. Your neighbor must feel so sorry (as good neighbors would), but probably not as sorry as you feel.

    The backup camera could be replaced easily enough, but now you lost your favorite little red plate AND you have a Harry Potter reminder of the incident. Guess you were meant to remember the lesson for a while.

    Now, did you check to see if there are any owls hanging around outside? Hmmmmm ...

  18. GHEEZE! Anne.. ouch!! :( I hate when I react and then stuff like this happens.. ouchie, girl!!

    ((big hug))

  19. Ouch! What is it with plates lately? One bounced out of my hand trying to escape the dishwasher. You should see what it did to my toe.

    It's eye opening to see what we use as crutches. Emotions can be so overwhelming.

    Wishing you a speedy recovery.

  20. You've got to be kidding? Bounced and smacked you on the head. If that's not the strangest story I heard lately, I don't know what is. Glad you are on the way to recovery, though. Hope the scar disappears eventually.
    Not that it's any consolation but I broke my camera a week or so ago. Left it at the edge of a drawer and knocked it to the ground in passing. Instant death. All my fault, and I liked myself enough that day to not get mad, so I just shrugged and went on.
    Get well soon!

  21. I liked my camera on that day MUCH more than I liked myself!
    Took me by surprise to learn it. I thought i had gotten over it.
    Guess not, eh?


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