First - I 'm ok.
Obviously, or I wouldn't be blogging this!
Or would I? (lol)
I found out something about myself last night.
My neighbor was helping me, taking a picture of me
holding a tape measure. I dreamed (actually) that I
should use the tripod, but I didn't.
So when she dropped the little camera,
and broke it, I was more than a little upset.
(Fragile little buggars, those cameras!)
Upset with myself, that I should have listened
to some internal guide; should have been more careful.
I went in, took my little salad plate - took it and threw it down
into the sink. (Temper, temper, eh?) An unlikely angle
bounced it back - Right into my forehead.
I didn't even know what hit me!
Suddenly blood was every where - I couldn't
even see! Blood was even in my eye.
And the pain! It hurt so much, I didn't even cry.
Capillary bleeding of the face is pretty dramatic!
Let's just say I looked a little like this!
(Gory link; sorry!)
I am learning to think that things are helpful.
Someone once told me that. I thought it was true then.
Now I know it's true.
So when my little camera bit the dust
(literally) I stopped to ask the requisite question:
What is my camera for?
What does it represent that I should be so upset over it?
Certainly not the camera itself. I have another one.
Almost just like it. (Wanted a back up battery - which costs
just as much as the camera itself! Hence - two cameras!)
No. It somehow represents a link to "reality."
Blogging reality. And the "reality" of the past.
Which cannot be "real" if the present is real.
A substitute reality of "ego" things - approval,
endorsement, expression, creativity....
But a camera is just a device. It's not really those things.
It just stands for those things.
Maybe the same thing as food once was.
Or now being pseudo- svelte is. It's very fashionable
to to a Big Loser these days.
All this while I'm laying on the floor.
I did lose alot of blood.
Got the bleeding to stop. And I have plenty of
hydrogen peroxide! So now I'm all cleaned up.
So now I have a headache. And a scar.
My face, which has barely even had a pimple,
will now boast a scar. A perfect symbol of
a struggle with an entity... my own ego!
Social butterfly. Madame Butterfly.
I need a butterfly dressing.
Release the butterflies!
Back to "it's all good." It's taking less time
to get all the way around the block with these
I'm glad I opted for the "long" way to recovery.
Those quick fixes and lateral movements
were fine fixes for a moment.
But as they say in the world of construction:
"If you don't have time to fix it right,
When are you going to find time to fix it again?"
Music: Lust and Caution
(Falling Rain, Wong Chia Chi's Theme)
And: Tonight, when I got home, there was a note on the door.
My neighbor gave me $$$ to replace the camera.
I gave the $$$ back - and all is forgiven.
Back to priorities.
Moral of the story - don't throw your favorite red plate!