It started as a regular day -
A little tired.... maybe a little hungry....
Ready for a day off.
The UPS guy did his "Thing"
Which means that if it's a heavy package,
he leaves a note on the door -
and lies - and says no one was at home.
Even though I left a note for him to leave the package
with a neighbor.... AND when he came by today -
I was actually at home! Imagine that!
I was at home, waiting for the package.
He did not knock, or ring the bell, or try to get me at all.
I was so mad - at all the lying and deceit -
(By now, it's not about a stupid package)
And this last week's bullying episode at work....
All this lying and blaming -
Something has to give.
There really has got to be a better way!
I was so mad, I could have quit - everything!
I went to CrossFit and almost walked out...
I finally settled down a little bit ago.
This business of losing weight is hard.
Working out is hard.
In my mind it looks like one thing - all greatness!
Greatness with ease... which don't always occur together, anyhow.
In reality I look like a person with a great impairment...
Showing my true colors... throwing a fit - over nothing at all.
Maybe this is the turning point that people reach
When they decide to quit - or go on -
However ungraceful or unsophisticated it may be.
I don't know.
I just know I really don't like what just happened...
What kind of crazy shit was that?
Me - cussing out a UPS clerk because some driver
can't or won't carry up a package to some poor slob's apartment.
Me - not wanting to fail or look ridiculous - because I'm not strong.
And I can't do better with my body - or make better choices -
When the choices seem to be between what's "bad" and what's "worse."
Maybe it's time for a good little meal, and off to bed -
So much needs to be done - I guess it can wait.
This must be the hard part!