29 May 2010

3 days grace

Getting these guys in a row....(and gals)
Ducks in a row, eh?

A new protein drink-  XAPP that is like mine
when I mix Monster Energy drink with protein mix.
(I like mines better, though)

These ladies all look so happy in their size 11 and size 6 underwears

Brisket with SF BBQ sauce (bear creek brand) (link)

A long 3 day week-end. What a rare treat!
Time to clean up after the whirl-wind of activity that was last week.
A major hospice closed, and a few hundred patients had to be absorbed into the system.
Every hospice nurse in town was scrambling like Florence Nightingale.
In the Crimean War.

Went to bed early yesterday - like 1pm!
I told a friend about my new plans for my blogging.
She said "It's about time!" Several of them said the same thing. 
It was pretty unanimous and enthusiastic! (Who knew?)
My friends in real life don't like my blog, or people who blog.

All this talking about being immured, and all.
Like I've said many times....from morbid obesity to just "morbid!"
So this is what it feels like to be a fool and an idiot.
You would think I would be all-too-familiar with the concept.
Actually, I'm kinda new to it all....and learning what it means.

I have no hope, not even for closure. And that's ok.
On the other hand, no animosity. No reaction-formation here.
Just the balance I had been looking for.
"It will be Just like like starting over."
It finally came to me.
Maybe I can keep the change this time!

Monster with protein
bbq brisket
Snack pack of peanuts
Side salad that wasn't very photogenic
Fizzy water from my new machine.
Coffee with cream. Atkins bar.

9,000 to 11,000 steps every day this past week
And now to clean the apartment!
It's rare when you want to do something
AND you have the time and energy!
Guess I'm "in the flow!"

All this productive energy, and not a RedLine to be found!
Maybe the withdrawals are almost over, eh?
Still not quite enough bang left in me to pull an all-nighter, though.
Those days are probably a thing of the past.
Thanks for the comments and emails today.
And thanks for noticing the new header.
I did it myself in Photobucket. It looks ok, yes?

  • Kitchen: done ✔
  • Laundry: sorted, ready to do tomorrow ✔
  • Truck: (inside) done ✔
  • Trash: done ✔
  • Bathroom: done ✔

John Lennon


  1. I wish you would write a nursing blog. Well, I guess this IS already one, in a way. :) I'm a nurse wannabe (got the papers and education, not the experience, so got nothin yet). I used to teach college. Adjunct, so that paid shit...no benefits, not even parking. Ug. Sweet of me to show up here and whine. That's what people do when they know you're a nurse. Heh. Heh. That much I know.

    Your blog is awesome. I hope you won't quit blogging. Just transform it along with you.

  2. What is with this "Maybe" stuff my dear...you are going to do this!

  3. what change? did I miss something?? Anne you aren't going to quit blogging are you!!!

  4. I was going to quit blogging - again -
    for the same reasons I quit last time.

    But since this is an issue that keeps coming up
    I thought better of it this time....
    So instead of avoiding it, I decided to confront it
    here in the relative safety of my own blog!

    I have reached my weight loss goals-no doubt, that!
    And in just about a year.
    Now to maintenance phase.
    To prove to myself that there is life beyond...

    I should be glad that all my jealousy and rage was pointed out to me....
    So I could fix it at the source..
    Which I did (and I am - it's a process)
    Perhaps related to my weight gain.....my own thoughts;
    My own deep-seated fear of rejection, and sense of inadequacy.
    BIG issues.... Ego stuff, that's for sure.

  5. Hmmm. I was actually shocked that when I went to the market they didnt have -any- sugar free barbeque sauce? WTF? seems so random. they have sugar free ketchup and maple syrup, why not BBQ sauce? so I may get some!

  6. I think that your process of growing emotionally and learning how to deal with your issues would be an interesting part of your blog. I don't think your blog has to stay on one subject. You are full of humor and also pain. You are talented in writing and photography. If you like blogging, you can find what works for you as you go.

  7. Why did you quit last time?

    I would stop blogging and delete my blog every time I "failed." Not this time. It is all part of my moving forward process...sometimes it involves a few steps backwards, but somehow I keep moving.

    I am going to have to find some SF BBQ sauce too...I have some ketchup, but I also love BBQ once in awhile.

    Have a great long weekend...get out and have some fun!

  8. cleaning the apartment is definitely on my to-do list as well.

  9. I've contemplated quitting blogging a few times. What i did do was take a few days off to rethink and i end up coming back and really enjoying it. I do think that every now and then we do need a break from it. Glad your sticking around :)

  10. I hope you don't quit blogging Anne, I would miss you. I love your blog, you have a life filled with love, laughter and pain and you can share it with those of us who care about how you feel, we wouldn't be here otherwise. I know it is different in blogland than friends in real life but I find blog friends are more honest and caring.......just know you are loved and cared for, have a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend.......:-) Hugs

  11. i missed you soooooo much last time.. i'd hunt you down if you left me. :)

    sorry I don't comment everyday..esp this last week... it was a busy one.

    Maintenance scares me.. I look forward to walking thru yours with you.. so WHEN I get there.. you can show me the ropes.


  12. Indeed!
    Part of what I am learning is how to tell the difference between
    a "knee jerk" reaction and true fear.....
    My first response is usually to run away....
    and be afraid.... be very afraid!
    But I am learning here that I can do hard things! Thanks Dana!
    Maybe not perfect the first time, but I can learn....
    And all that!

  13. Look at your fancy new header! I don't tell my friends about my blog. I don't want them to try to find it or read it. I like my privacy. Now off to read what you were up to the previous days.

  14. Hey Anne..... Very impressive header. You are a woman of many talents!

    I'm with TechnoBabe about blogging-- Go with what works for you-- it's okay to change things up and only post when you feel like it-- I sure as heck do :-)

    Almost none of my non-blogging friends understand why I blog or how I can have such meaningful relationships with people I've never met-- But blogging has become an important connection to some truly amazing people whose guidance and wisdom and kindness and support has been invaluable to me. You know-- Blog friends like YOU-- who I actually got to meet. So I'm selfish, I'll admit it, and say I hope you don't stop blogging.

    Have a fun rest of the weekend in your very clean home :-)
    xo jj

  15. Ok, I am caught up now. You shouldn't stop blogging. It's something you are good at and that you enjoy. Anne, you have a lot to offer. You rach alot of peope with your kind and wise words. Not to mention your pics.

    Ok...back to regularly scheduled progrming. Yes, you can do hard things my Dear!

  16. No honey -yesterday I could do hard things.
    today I lay in bed with a cough and a fever.
    Probably something I got from the shelter.

    But thanks for all of your kind words.


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