03 April 2010

another "new" day

It's starting to look like home again
Sugar free flavorings - not booze!
Protein powder in many flavors
They take up alot of room
Red tea, green tea, Monster by the case
A "blooming onion," eh?
Didn't eat it all - meh!
New kicks 

Whenever I gather more than a few somatic complaints, or projections,
I have learned that "I am never upset for the reason I think."
So I try to "look inside" and go beyond the symptoms,
Behind the petty grievances, and figure out what is really going on.

This is the 5 year anniversary of friend of mine's suicide.
I found out later she tried to call me several times that night,
But I didn't get the calls...
Probably why jumbled (or absent) communication bothers me, even to this day.
I found her picture in a box, tonight when I was unpacking.
I'd taken them down this last spring, when I started blogging! 
I figured it was time to practice the wisdom of forgiving myself,
And the zen-ish art of "moving on." 

It's like I was making a decision in the present moment
To give more importance to the (non-existant) past,
Or the (equally non-existant) future,
Rather than to the present/now, which is all the time there really is.

But not "moving on" in a frantic, desperate way...not anger or fear-based.
Just more gentle, and kind, and even loving.
Like "moving toward" something, instead of "running from" something.
Whatever happened in the past - now it calls for healing and understanding.

Monster w/ protein
Snack pack of peanuts - one hot, one regular
Coffee w/sf hot choc, water - the usual suspects
2nd monster w/protein - I perked up "like a daisy!"

anne h said...
The quote is from "A Course In Miracles," Which I have studied for years, Until 6 months ago, when I all but stopped reading. So now, I've re-examined if it makes sense to me, and it does! In fact, it's sometimes the ONLY thing that does!


  1. Why, yes, as a matter of fact,
    I DID put the comment in the body of the post!
    Thank you for noticing!

  2. Your too funny :) Love the new shoes!
    Your fridge is so much more organized than mine.
    We definitely have to forgive ourselves for the past so that we can move on.

  3. It's good you are forgiving yourself. That can be a very difficult thing to do.

    I want to let you know that I followed your whole trip. I looked forward to your posts every day. What a fabulous journey. And your pictures were really really good. I couldn't believe you took those cave pics with your cell phone. They were amazing. Thank you so much for sharing that with us.

    Love the red shoes!

  4. Sorry about your friend and happy to see you are choosing to move on. You are so right about the past and the future being non-existent. There is only "now."

    Nice work on settling in...love the sugar free flavour bottles.

    Great kicks!!! Very springy!

  5. Will your frig remain so organized? I am interested in the monster containers of protein powder. It is good to hear you working through the sad experience of your friend choosing to leave this world behind. Your personality is showing now in your new place. Enjoy it and I hope your weekend is great. How could it not be with your sporting those great red shoes.

  6. I enlarged that first pic-- Is that a family clock/heirloom and family photos in the photo? Regardless, it's a lovely arrangement and very warm and welcoming.

    Your pantry and fridge put mine to shame-- I just cleaned out both. Ha!

    Love the shoes-- They match your bathroom, but don't wear them in the shower :-)

    As for your friend. I am so sorry. I can only imagine how heavy that weighs on your heart. But as you said, it's about today and living in the moment, so be kind to yourself Anne.

    xo jj

  7. Love me some shoes! Catching up on my blog reading, finally. Happy Saturday and Happy Easter!!!!

  8. Everything looks so lovely Anne and I am so sorry about the death of your friend. A real shocker for you but it is okay to move forward......Be well, luv ya.......:-) Hugs

  9. Your apartment looks so warm and welcoming. A haven! A Happy Easter to you too, Anne H!

  10. Anne O how I love the red shoes, they are awesome. Your apartment is really looking nice. Live in the now my friend. I am so sorry you had to go through that pain. hugs to you. Have a good day tomorrow. Smile.

  11. Thank you for sharing those words of wisdom and another special part of your heart, Anne. :-)

    Your place is coming along nicely. Orderly. Which will inspire me to establish more order in our own home. That's one of the physical ways of promoting peace of mind - the physical placement of things. Call it Feng Shui or whatever you'd like.

    I hope your Easter day is filled with joy and love. I'm spending mine making order while I await the return on my love from NY. Her arrival will be so much better than the chocolate bunnies of my youth.


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