zen cat

This is my goal. 

To just be aware of my ego

And train myself to ignore it. 

And make a better way. 

Focus on something more True. 

Less corruptible. 

I’m definitely attached to the outcome

Of many things. 

Which is a pity. 

Because I control nothing. 

And yet… a bad outcome

Would generally send me into a funk. 

Well, that approach makes no sense. 

It’s not logical. Not rational. 

Do we just hope for the best? 

Hope other people just suddenly 

And always do right? Ha! 

Please help me understand hoomans 

For what they are. 

And what they are not. 

Which is a substitute for …

Devine? Truth? God? 

Except when they are assholes. 

And maybe even then. 

There are many grumpy people out there. 

I think they’re lost. And unhappy. 

So I’m trying to be very zen. 

Kiddo (sick patient) won’t take his meds. 

Fights me at literally every turn. 

Ok. We’ll try again. 

Redirect. Re-approach. 

No meds? No problem. 

Can’t fight you to make you take it. 

Housemate goes into the bathroom 

When I’m getting ready? 

Ok. We’ll come back. 

Get ready in my room. 

Is he really a saboteur? 

Or just an inconsiderate dude?

People think I’m stupid? 

Always man-splaining simple words to me. 

Like “paradigm.”  *ummm yeah*

Or reminding me of who a famous person 

Is when they make the news. 

Someone every knows. 

[Example. Monica Lewinsky. 

Remember? She was with Clinton?]

Ok. I can’t help what they think. 

And yes - I know who she is. Duh. 

They think I’m not very smart. 

Possibly inept. *blinks*

Cats loose in the house? 

Ok. We’ll trick them with treats.  

Cat rustling. Try it sometime. 

Probably not easy. Cats are liquid. 

People think I stand in the hall 

At midnight - hysterically screaming?

Over nothing? Over cats? 

Alien abduction? Ghosts? 

Delirium Tremons? Phantoms?

If the legend continues, 

I’ll soon be describes as being 10 feet tall

And lightning bolts come 

out of my arse when I talk. 

Let it go. 

From A Course In Miracles

Chapter 18 The Passing Of The Dream. 

Let is all go.  

facebook sayings

another "new" day

It's starting to look like home again

Sugar free flavorings - not booze!

Protein powder in many flavors

They take up alot of room

Red tea, green tea, Monster by the case

A "blooming onion," eh?

Didn't eat it all - meh!

New kicks 

Whenever I gather more than a few somatic complaints, or projections,

I have learned that "I am never upset for the reason I think."

So I try to "look inside" and go beyond the symptoms,

Behind the petty grievances, and figure out what is really going on.

This is the 5 year anniversary of friend of mine's suicide.

I found out later she tried to call me several times that night,

But I didn't get the calls...

Probably why jumbled (or absent) communication bothers me, even to this day.

I found her picture in a box, tonight when I was unpacking.

I'd taken them down this last spring, when I started blogging! 

I figured it was time to practice the wisdom of forgiving myself,

And the zen-ish art of "moving on." 

It's like I was making a decision in the present moment

To give more importance to the (non-existant) past,

Or the (equally non-existant) future,

Rather than to the present/now, which is all the time there really is.

But not "moving on" in a frantic, desperate way...not anger or fear-based.

Just more gentle, and kind, and even loving.

Like "moving toward" something, instead of "running from" something.

Whatever happened in the past - now it calls for healing and understanding.

Monster w/ protein

Snack pack of peanuts - one hot, one regular

Coffee w/sf hot choc, water - the usual suspects

2nd monster w/protein - I perked up "like a daisy!"

anne h said...

The quote is from "A Course In Miracles," Which I have studied for years, Until 6 months ago, when I all but stopped reading. So now, I've re-examined if it makes sense to me, and it does! In fact, it's sometimes the ONLY thing that does!

APRIL 3, 2010 4:32 AM 

groundhog day

deja vu all over again

You know the movie. "Phil" kept waking up and it was the same day over and over again. Ya know - same old, same old.

And what was one of the first things he did when he realized that it could be a good thing? He ate! And ate and ate!

But pretty soon he realized that it was not all he thought it would be. In fact, he was miserable. Until he learned how to get along. Then everything changed. A blessing or a curse, depending on how you look at it.

The legend of the Groundhog is this: He comes out of his hole, and if he sees his shadow, there will be 6 more weeks of winter.

Why? That's the part that no one can tell you is always "why."

Here's my take on it. Very simply it is this. Only a body can make a shadow.

If you come out of your little cozy hole, and look around and see your own shadow, you will have a long, cold, biting winter. You might even say frozen, harsh, miserable.

However, if you come out, and disregard the shadow that your own body makes, and realize that you are more than a body - so much more - then you are finally free!

I have a car, but I am not a car. I have a dog, but I am not a dog. You know, that old chestnut!

I have a body, but I am not a body.

So let it be as cold as it may. It can still be pleasant. A winter wonderland!

A blessing or a curse. Depends on how you look at it!

cleaning out the closet

coming out of the closet

A PBS money show once had a caller who was told that if she had debt, she probably had a weight issue. Ten pounds for each $10k of debt.  And lots of junk in her closets at home. 

I wonder if this is universally true.  I wonder if keeping pounds is an equivalent of keeping junk in storage. Do they always go together? Or debt, financial or otherwise. Maybe a debt to the past. Or to ourselves.

I like Atkins because he doesn't go into all the psychology of "how did this happen?" and all that. He mentions it, and it might be worth a mention.

The often quoted book  A Course In Miracles says that "The past is gone. It can touch me not."  Well, the past is gone. Yet it seems to be all around us, every minute of everyday, leaving a trail of evidence around like a bad boyfriend (or girlfriend) would leave dirty shoes and dirty plates all around the living room!  The Course also says "Forgive the past and let it go, for it is gone."

So I finally had the time and the energy to clean out the closet.  I "just did it!"   It took two days, and a couple of trips to Goodwill.  I didn't really focus on the reasons why.  I just got busy.

I gave away everything I hadn't used or knew I would never use.  I gave away all my carbs! I just changed my mind about all the things that once were important. And then cooked for myself a London Broil from Sam's Club. It was the best food I had ever eaten. 

Things take time. Cooking, cleaning, planning, organizing, working out. Maintaining it all once you finally get it. Sharing ideas and sorting out all the junk - especially the mental junk.