life of the party

Went with the boss to a lunch presentation

(I have alot of different bosses)

Last week, at a fancy - schmansy office 

 

All the usual suspects were there.

Bring food if you want people to come to your meeting!

I got a round of applause from the Nurses - (yay!)

something about outstanding amount of weight lost this last year...

Half of my own peers didn't recognize me!

Odd - 

This life-preserver was just sitting there..... 

Maybe a hint from the Ever-Kind Universe?

(You DO see it there, right?)

The binge is not our friend!

I don't do well eating carbs and concentrated sweets.

Coming down from the high (yesterday's cake) 

is like a crash to me.  I know it's "only" a mood swing,

but it's very real at the time. This is how and why 

people "act out." Friendships are lost, and lives are changed.

Another great dictator of bad decisions! (as they say)

 

 

Someday I will post my morbid (obesity) story.

I didn't gain - or lose - weight the same as most people...

Except for the eating way.... oh yeah, that!

I never looked in the mirror and said,

"Crickey! It's time to lose some weight!!"

So I never dealt with the "Why" part of the plan....

until now.... And I seem to be making up for lost time!

It's hard to face an invisible foe, when it's you, yourself. 

And only you. And by that, I mean, "Only me."

It's much easier when all that hate  (or fear, or anger) 

has a target - like fat cells.

Someone or something to blame. Some enemy. 

Something external - or gross, or bad, or unwanted.

"Once (this dreadful/awful/horrible thing) is gone, 

I'll be fine/better/safe/etc."

Or so we think. Turns out to be yet another ego trick.

This one's just not about food.

Or maybe it IS about food - just this time, we try to

control it, "understand" it, or avoid it!

Food, or what food represents.

Conversely, losing weight doesn't make you 

"a better person." Better than what?

Or nice, or loved, or anything except smaller in weight!

It has it's own practical benefits. But establishing your self-worth

is not one of them. That has to be already in place, somehow.

And more or less unconditional. And not externally based.

That's why its *self* and not other-worth.

Maybe it's the ultimate binge -  a bigger form of ego pie.

Linking weight-loss to self-worth. 

Once they are linked, they are easily confused.

To think that anything outside our mind can define us.

In the body, or a person's "body of affairs."

Sounds familiar! 

I wasn't "special" then, and I'm not now, either.

And yet I want it sooo bad!

Pass the cake?

Maybe I just need more icing.

(Just kidding, of course!)