This is another story for another day.... but .....
I thought I had done so well -
and indeed I have - but I have soooo far to go!
I feel in many ways I am just starting.
I am not discouraged - not at all!
Just becoming aware
of how my being heavy changed so many things -
Up till now, it was enough activity for the day
to walk down and back up the stairs -
to make a trip to Jack in the Box for dinner.
Maybe go to WalMart.
Why not order Wing-stop... again?
Now I find there is much work to do!
Even standing up with proper posture
is not easy - after all those years of slouching.
In CrossFit BootCamp we put one hand on our diaphragm area,
And one hand on our abdomen to help focus on proper breathing.
I think I still have some layers to get to - to really "feel" it.
Tighten my core? I AM pulling in my core!
Are you kidding me?
In CrossFit they use a pvc stick to get you to stand up straight -
Head, should blades, and butt should touch the stick
Then bend over - keeping that alignment!
Simple stuff - but not easy!
Just like my back and legs were not made to carry all that
extra weight, my little organs were not made to deal with
all that food - and cokes and sugar!
In the diet aspect of weight loss - LoCarb was easy for me.
Just open a can. Boil an egg. Fry a burger.
At least now, I'm getting my metabolism to settle down.
And maybe heal a little from years of abuse.
But now, I am trying to cook "fancy" things -
Things that require a little skill!
Maybe put together a meal - a menu!
And not everything I cook turns out good -
Just saying!
I'm not afraid to fail -
or learn - or try.....
But lately I am in the "beginner's mode"
quite alot, it seems!
I suppose this is where the "mental" conditioning comes in.
"Check your ego at the door" - type stuff.
A different version of "me" would have quit
this mess - when I was younger...maybe acting like I didn't care -
But really just afraid to go through this very phase!
Hope your day is great - thanks for reading!
The fact that you feel like a beginner is good. It means you are entering into a real challenge. It will stimulate your BRAIN and your body and give you youthful vigor! It's only now, after losing almost 80 pounds from my first Pilates classes, that I can properly tuck my butt under. Before, all the abdominal and thigh fat got in the way. Now, enough ab fat is gone to allow the rotation. I FEEL it. It makes a huge difference. But it took 3 years and a lot of fat loss to get there. Last training session, my trainer saw a NEW muscle emerge from the fat that once covered it on my thigh. She can see more of my articulation now, which makes proper posture possible.
ReplyDeleteI still am crooked. I think I"m "even" and it turns out I'm not. When I am even, to me, I sometimes feel lopsided. Hah. I warped my body via fat and through some injuries, and surgeries, but mostly FAT.
We are healing. I think of exercise, and have since I started Pilates, as REHAB. I'm rehabbing the body that got all messed up and broken. I'm relearning right movement, posture, breathing.
It's a long process. It's challenging. BUT WE ARE BETTER for trying and making progress, yes?
I found this post so interesting. I don't think of you as a beginner at all... I am constantly learning from you, and inspired. Yet here you are, learning new stuff, like a beginner. Kudos to you!!
ReplyDeleteAmazing transformations, Anne. I love reading all about it. You are an inspiration in your willingness to do all the work that is required for real change.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a great new phase for you Anne, reading about the posture made me sit up a little straighter. keep going forward. hugs.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way and have been through a similar phase. I feel like I've come a long way and at the same time that I am just at the beginning of the journey. The weight is mostly off, so now I have to learn how to live without it.
ReplyDeleteI think we all go through this, periodically and then we realize we have it down, then boom all of a sudden something else comes along and makes us realize we DONT have it down. Its a cycle, its not static and its a good thing! You are ever-challenging yourself and I admire you! Keep going (duh, I know you're gonna keep going!). Hugs to you and *nodding vigorously* at the posture issue thingees!
ReplyDeleteJust the word Boot Camp sounds like they are taking raw recruits and building them up. Must be a great thing for you...kinda like the military but probably way nicer...less heat and not so many tears?
ReplyDeleteHey Anne-- Terrific post. I'm one of those people who's always hesitated to say "I got it/did it/succeeded" because it seems the minute I do I start slacking off. So I think learning new stuff and taking things to the next/different level is a positive way to continue moving forward.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds a little nuts but I think of Oprah and all the times she's proclaimed she's finally "got it" when it comes to her weight. There's great (and very public) fanfare (remember the wagon full of fat and her 50th birthday "skinny" cover shoot for Vogue Magazine???) over her weight loss and 24" waist but by the following season she's gained the weight back-- I think because she "met her goal" and didn't keep growing from the experience.
So YOU keep up the great job you're doing and keep learning and looking for more and healthier ways to live. And-- You just inspired me to sit up much straighter while I typed this.
xo jj
Go Anne!! I'm going to do the stick thing as soon as I get home this evening. When I was little, I had my Mom's constant litany "Don't Slouch!" to remind me. I've become slack over the past several decades.
ReplyDeleteAll those cokes ... all that food and sugar ....
ReplyDeleteYou're not a beginner in everything. A real beginner would be bemoaning that she misses her cokes, food and sugar. I get the feeling that you don't miss that crap at all. You're definitely not a beginner.
What a great way to make sure your posture is correct!
ReplyDeleteDang hard, too - CrossFit is not for wimps!
ReplyDeleteEvery day is a new day...to start again and to learn!
ReplyDelete