25 May 2018

grand theft auto

I was as cool as a proverbial cucumber 
when I went to work this morning at 6:55
And this is what I saw. 

Just gravel where my Trekkie had once been! 
My beloved car has gone missing. 
And since it can’t do that on its own, 
I’m guessing it was stolen. 

So of course I called the cops. 
Without exception, people ask
“Did you call the cops?” 
Well, yes. Yes, as a matter of fact I DID! 
First thing. 911. 
Dallas’ Finest. 

They made me sign a document 
That promised I was not a prostitute. 
Or being blackmailed. 
Or scamming. OK. 
If you get caught lying about it,
There is a $2000 fine. 
So my guess is what they won’t spend 
More than $2000 of resources
 and man hours - looking for a car. 

The theft didn’t phase me until much later. 
I got the rental car. 
Talked to the neighbors. 
No one saw or heard anything. 

Still not a prostiute. I promise. 
Not a Drug Dealer.

And this is true. 
Made it to work in 3 hours. 

The Bad Guys also took my Nursing Bag,
And my Gym Bag. 
And my Snake Juice. 
They stole my Snake Juice. 
Who steals Snake Juice? 
They also got my Crocks. 
And my Hijabs. 
Still waiting to see if they find her. 

Stayed true....
Didn’t stress eat. 
So there’s that. 


  1. Did I lock the doors? Yes.
    Did I hear anything? No.
    Did I get the oil changed frequently?. Yes.
    Did I owe anyone any money? No.
    Was there any broken glass. No.
    Just my fortune cookie from about a year ago.

  2. Ah, this is terrible!!! I’m a few days late catching up...
    My son came home, we got “2-for-1” w/his GF - quickly setting up guest BR, I found my own Crocs 👍


I would love to hear from you!