build a stronger house

Younger days - about  5 years ago - building a house.

Which is part of the How-When-and Why

of my weight gain, I'm sure!

Undaunted by any challenge....

till I learned better!!

And my Self-doubt and fear came out 

through the pores of my skin -

and stayed there!

"It's a metaphor for Life and Growth!"

I would tell myself....

Make lemonade - right?

How quickly the worm turns....

From triumph to despair!

Anybody want some moldy lemonade?

The unscrupulous people who sold me the house

hid all of the flaws beneath a coat of fresh paint!

And new carpet.  There was even Deadly Mold.

A great way to learn you only cheat yourself 

when you cut corners or try to get ahead

 with "bargains" you didn't earn.

Or try to pass it along to the next person.

Like they did, to me.

If it looks too good to be true -

It usually is! A good lesson to learn.

So, slowly I rebuilt the "little house that could."

Maybe a metaphor for rebuilding my life.

It was like the Bionic Man - or Woman!

I upgraded everything and modernized it all...

The new house was much stronger and better than the old one!

I learned to do plumbing, electrical work, 

and framing, as in carpentry....

I even learned how to solder pipes!

I built a house, for goodness sake!!

Go Go Gadget Anne!

Power tools make a level playing field!

What I lacked in strength in made up for in stupidity!

I even worked 2 full time jobs to finance the remodeling.

It was the equivalent of a college degree

in business.... in management..... in physics......

and in humility.

Looking back, I'm just glad no one got hurt.

Well, that's not entirely true.

The electrician was murdered.

Not on the job, though.

But the project fell apart from there.

The "crew" of men I hired turned out to be 

a "gang" of heroin users and thieves.

The robbed me 10 times.

Over 5 years.

They even took the copper from the walls.

The copper pipes and wires I just put up.

My Mother died, my friend killed herself,

(two friends did, actually)

my dog died, and my kittens died.

I lost every single material possession I owned.

Even my clothes were stolen.

I quit my job, and took the rest of the year off.

Kind of a Sabbatical.

Or maybe a mid-life crisis.

That's when I read the Dictionary 

and the "Old" Testament.

And moved into a cute, little apartment.

I was already heavy, and still 

gained another 75 pounds. 

I was more miserable than I can print in a blog.

I finally lost interest in even living my life.

So now what?

Almost 2 years ago, I launched my 

imperfect and unhappy ass

off into another project.

A weight-loss project this time.

A blundering, striving, not always doing great

weight-loss attempt, and blog to go with it.

So here we are!

Everyone you meet is facing something.

Going through something.

and mostly doing the best they can.

As my friend Winnie says,

"be kind..... for everyone you meet 
is fighting some kind of battle..."

So now, another house.

But not a physical dwelling, this time.

My frame of reference is stronger.

I'm finally understanding how important it is 

to forgive myself and let go of the past.

That makes for a much better place to stay!

Maybe kinder, and gentler.

Sadder and wiser.

"What's gone and what's past help
Should be past grief."

Shakespeare - The Winter's Tale

All the amenities...

With cuteness and happy stuff abounding!

These were my rescue kittens -

Gilligan, Ginger, MaryAnn, and Skipper

Ah, Recovery.

It takes time!

The only failure is to not try.

Something like that.

2011 already?

Al-righty, then!

Here's to a great year!