04 March 2019

walk a day

I got some Unisom
For sleep. I once took it - long ago 
Every night with good results. 
But it’s an antihistamine 
With anticholinergic properties. 
So I quit taking it. 

I didn’t sleep well
But I woke up refreshed - 
So there’s that. 

I said I was tired of eggs. 
I said I wanted to stop 
and get a hamburger. 

Turns out that was a lie. 
I wanted eggs. Again. 
So let it be written...
So let it be done. 

Walk is done. 
Sun is up. 

23 degrees F here today. 
Wind chill 9 degrees. 
My eyes were freezing shut. 

Must be trash day. 

The reality of my upcoming vacation 
Is starting to replace my grief and shock. 
Grief over the loss and 
Shock over the method. 

I love and loved my dear Nephew. 
But the way he chose to exit this world
Left us all in a open-ended state of mind 
 - with even a little PTSD. 
You just don’t see that kind of suicide everyday. 

As if a “normal” suicide isn’t shocking enough. 

Sometimes it’s hard enough 
to just put one foot in front of the other. 
And get through each day. 

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