11 July 2019

so mad

Slept great and woke up to find 
My sleeping pills on the counter top. 
Hahah jokes on me. 

Ate this OMAD. 

Before bed. 

Early morning. 
I dry fast now at night. No fluid. 
So this is - and the weight- 
Is true. 

This crow was mad. 
I must have parked on top 
of his French Fries. 

Fasting is bad because 
you learn to be patient. 
You must be patient. 
You’re not shopping, prepping, eating,
Or cleaning up after 3 to 6 meals a day. 

And being away from all vices, 
Your thoughts “speak” to you. 

And it’s not easy to hear the truth 
Of what they say. 

I realized this time fasting - that I’m mad. 
I’m mad that the swimsuit didn’t fit. 
I’m mad that I ever was fat. 

I’m mad that my leg was broken
And it’s still not right. 
I still park with a handicapped sticker. 

I’m mad that they keep that 
Munchausen Nurse. 
And chose her instead of me. 

I’m mad that my relationship is gone
 and will never be back. 

I’m mad that I’m a poor 
judge of character 
and didn’t see it coming.  

That is the thing. 
I’m always too hopeful. 
Too positive. 
It’s like being naive. 
And I’m a slow learner. 
I give people the benifit of the doubt. 
When they least deserve it. 

I’m mad the medical community 
Let Baby Love Dove die. 
I’m mad at Nursing 
Because it has become a joke-
It’s not what it used to be. 

Im mad that I can gain weight 
on 500 calories a day. 

I tell my kids that they can get mad. 
And feel it. 
But now we have to do 
something about it. 
Yes. That’s what it was. 
BUT - at least for now- 
THIS sis how it is. 
And we have to get from 
Point A to Point B. 
We can go there mad, as well. 
We still get there. 

I went and got a rocking hot haircut. 
I went to the Gayborhood 
Supercuts. Best of both worlds. 
Style AND substance. 
No more “Suburbian”
Haircuts for me! 


  1. It seems that I forgot to laugh. I need to be a happy learner again.

  2. Love the new haircut :)
    I hope this is a temporary state of mind for you.


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