26 June 2010

bad hair day

Unaccustomed as I am
to "fancy" things,
like make up, and hair spray,
I thought I would expand my repertoire
and get my hair "done."

I am finding that I have an extremely low tolerance for change.
Especially when it is just a little out of my comfort zone.
Or new. Or potentially controversial.
I feel almost "disabled" in a way, at times.
This vague - and outright anxiety..... beyond shyness.
This agoraphobic -like resistance to change...
Yet all the while craving it with all my heart....

Knee-jerk reactions: I can't say why but the answer is "no."
Too much change in one year?
Self-sabotage? Displacement? Transference?
Defense? Coping? Eff it all.
I would never fault anyone for the choices they make
when they are under the spell of this doubt and angst.
So I went back to my "roots" - so to speak.
It's not just my hair that is over-processed!
It feels like failure....but it isn't.
It's part of a new learning curve - I know.
My blog has been all over the place lately eh?
Who knew weight-loss could be such a ride.
Blame it on the full moon?

Looking at last night's full moon!
This just in:
I was born blonde and grew up "jet blonde"
until I went to college - where I turned brown headed.
And brown~ish I remained until the last few years.
First grade in my Parochial School uniform.
So long ago, they only had sepia tones! (lol)


  1. Just a bit too much change at once. Do it gradually and see at which place you see what you are comfy with. I for one like it blonde and also light golden brown or medium brown or silver or purple or......

  2. Thanks!
    The thing is, I really did like the hair.
    I just couldn't go through with the concept of changing,
    I guess...

  3. You have to feel comfortable with who you are and who you want to be. For the record, my brown hair turned grey in my early thirties. I wasn't comfortable with it being so grey at such a young age. In my late thirties I started coloring lite brown it and still do to this day, once a month.

  4. Why not try a few high lights, I think they would look really nice but you are the one who has to like it sweetie.........:-) Hugs

  5. I did a double take when I saw you photo in my sidebar! You look great but change is tough. I always wanted to be a redhead and have never had the nerve to do it-- like I said change is tough.

    Take it a day and a step at a time-- life and your hair :-)

    Happy weekend and your moon shot is amazing!

  6. you're the second person I've seen this week go really blonde and not like it.. big change is tough.

    i agree on the highlights, but you have to do what you feel comfortable with.

    I've been colouring mine for over 25 yrs.. if the roots are any indication, i think my natural colour is quite dark brown with a LOT of silver highlights.

    When I was a teen it was mousy brown.

    I moved from golden brown for several years, to a strawberry blonde with a LOT of copper.. now I'm copper with a bit of blonde highlights. I think I'll stay where I am for a while,anyway.

    I've done every naturalish colour (no blue or purple or pink) except for black, and I've found I'm most comfortable when I make a gradual change.

    Nothing like scaring yourself in the mirror in the morning. :)

    Cue Madonna: "who's that girl". :)

  7. Change is terrifying. Which is why when I consider leaving New York to go to grad school elsewhere, it's painful to even think of. My family is here.

    Sometimes I surprise myself and I'm open to change. It's often wonderful and even when it's not, I learn something about myself.

  8. I am an au naturel girl myself...but I have yet to see a gray hair.

    I love grey hair on other people though, so I will probably love it on me too. I don't mess around with hair, makeup etc. Take me as I am.

    You did look great as a blonde though...

  9. It's not only a full moon but a red full moon tonight!
    Take a little change at a time, just a baby sit and see how you like the changes.

  10. You know,
    you don't know what you don't know....
    I didn't even know what to ask for,
    but I had a wee bit of courage to try something new.
    He (the Master-level hair guy) said
    "Oh! I know - Let's try this!"
    I told him nothing too wild.
    It was just something fun.
    Just supposed to be something fun.

    He was thinking "Ellen" but it came out like "Eminem."

  11. Anne, I liked the blonde but yes you are probably better with just highlights to start. Change is a strange thing. I saw Eminem on an interview last night and he had dark hair. hugs to you, a little at a time.

  12. No need to change if you're happy with where you are. :)

  13. I totally thought "Ellen" when I saw your blonde hair. She has adorable hair. You're hilarious no matter the colour or length of your hair. You are so much more than the hair on top of your head! :)

  14. I liked it either way....it is you I like my dear...the hair is just something for an accent.

  15. Big changes are hard! I am especially vulnerable to hair changes - somehow it feels like not "me". I usually can adjust, given some time. You gotta do what you gotta do! I'm sure your roots are lovely as well. Love the kiddo pic!

  16. I just love that you did it!

    I'm thinking that our Spirit is calling us back to our roots and we keep thinking its the child within calling. BTW you were an adorable parochial school girl. I could see the child in you there giving them the smile they were waiting for but your eyes were saying something else. Please do tell or make up a caption for the picture. I'm sure its better than anything I could dream up.

    I watched Hair the musical the other day on TV...but you say there was a full Moon...hmmm somethings going on. All I can say is that the maintanence required to remain that blonde will cost you time, money and energy...so you really gotta love it. I don't know what they charge in Dallas but LA hairstylist can make six figure salaries. I often wonder if they really like me as a blonde or just the money it takes for me to look this way. I'm to afraid to stop and they don't seem to want to talk me into a different look. Curious if you will see the world differently as a blonde?


  17. Every time I get a wild "hair" to do something to my hair, it feels like a huge disappointment. Sometimes, it has actually been a fiasco - as in what the hell beauty school did you go to?

    I was a blonde, too when I was little. Then one day I got a Pixie cut and it all seemed to turn brown over-night. My grandpa accused my mom of coloring my hair...

    Shock is what we don't expect, I guess. I think it looked cool :)

  18. I remember hearing the best hair color to go with is the color you had as a kid... highlights would be great.



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