13 April 2012


You can't really say I'm floundering here...
But you can't really say I'm not...

Not in terms of diet... that, strangely enough, does not flounder.
And I am never tempted to cheat.
Oh sure, I've had a few so-called "safe starches" in the past.
But that was some hip-hop happy attempt
on my part to see if I was "healed" enough to eat them again.
Guess not.
People ask if LoCarb and Very Low Carb
and Zero Carb have "messed up my metabolism."
They forget that it was messed up before - 
That's why I went on  LC diet to start!
People ask if years of Atkins made it such that 
now I can't eat bread and candy without gaining.
No - dear - I think it was years of Chronic Obesity 
that messed up my metabolism...
Carrying around nearly 100 pounds of pure fat 
for nearly a decade.
And the 300 carbs (PLUS) a day I once ate.
Atkins saved me! It only helped.
To borrow a well-known example....
Blaming Atkins for people's inability to digest starches
Would be like blaming the firemen for starting fires....
Based on the logic that they are present at every fire!

But I digress.
I tend to not like a challenge, because in the past
I was incapable of doing them. The truth.
Gosh - I could not take on a flight of stairs without stopping!
So I made up a bunch of excuses to quit (aka "reasons")

So when my CrossFit Coach suggested (again) 
that I try harder - I was beside myself.
I AM trying harder! 
THIS is me - trying harder.
He said that after a year of training,  I should be able to jump rope
or to jumping jacks...and I can not.

I don't want to be some "stupid" gym rat 
Or a middle-aged Orthorexic
that can't wait to get to the gym every day.
Ha ha ha!
If my Mother were alive, she would have died laughing!
Just to hear me say that. LOL!
I'm reasonably safe from having that happen to me.
The conflict is that I know on some level, my coach is right.
I just don't like to get all sweaty. 
And flop all around looking goofy doing work-out moves.
That sounds like "ego" statements to me.
I know it all requires work.
I just didn't know it would actually be WORK work.
Every day... not just when I feel like doing it.
And when all else fails, bring out the "fun" banner,
Wave it high, and stomp off - mumbling about how this is 
supposed to be fun - and every one can just go fugg themselves,
and all that. Typical me. 

So instead of quitting - my usual M.O. - 
I guess I need to go back and somehow
try to do moar... I don't know where it comes from...
if it comes at all. How would I?  I've never done it before.
This diet (and maybe nursing school) are the only things
I've ever done "right."  

Part of the key seems to be to listen to what my ego says to do....
And then go out and do the exact opposite.
Logic tells me that quitting won't get it - at any rate.
A little willingness, eh? Winking smile

So I got my hair done - just in time for the cruise - 
And got some new glasses - which also helped
with the headaches I was having! Yay!

I've still been walking nearly every day....
And working on my posture exercises.
And my food intake has been stellar -
On the house scales at work I'm down 8 pounds
after 3 weeks on Zero Carb!
We'll see the official numbers when I go back to CF.

Zero Carb seems to be the most agreeable phase yet.
What is not to like about steak?

Thanks for reading y'all...
Onward and downward!


  1. I'm so excited for you and your cruise! Sounds like so much fun.

    Progress, not perfection, right? We don't have to do it perfectly (or to someone else's standards), we just have to do it.

  2. TOTALLY understand about the work out thing / fun / sweat / goofy stuff. TOTALLY!! You nailed it with this post.

  3. Fabulous you.
    That so wise pose,
    looking good and spunky.

    Definitely no flounder,
    far too smart.

    I hate being told,
    'You can do more,
    You can do better,
    You can work harder.'

    Do other people think I'm lazy?

    I am, but that's my secret!

    Three weeks the waiting and working behind you,
    You'll be a happy cruiser.

    You're doing good.
    Keep it up.


  4. You are going to have an absolute fabulous time on that cruise! You are going to walk away with so much more than you think!! :)

  5. Ann Darling, you are the strongest, most driven woman I KNOW!!! You saved my life! (coupled, of coarse, with an inner hunger of my own for "smaller" and better thing lol) You helped me step out into uncharted territory, which is never as easy as it sounds. Almost like a child you coached, motivated and once again I look great. LAST THING YOU ARE IS WEAK!!! you got this. I like what the other person said who's standards are we goin by here. I say youre on a roll. Awesome cruise ahead and all will be great!!!

  6. Sometimes others can see strength in us that we ourselves do not believe we have.

  7. I am sorry Anne but you are WRONG!!!
    I stopped reading at this statement "This diet (and maybe nursing school) are the only things
    I've ever done "right." "

    thing you have done right in the few years I have been following you

    1. seen beauty where others see just plain "stuff"

    2. never gave up

    3. been there to encourage others when they were down

    4. been a true source of education (have you actually read some of your detailed posts!!!)

    5. you are a killer hair stylist

    6. organized

    7. thee most unshy shy person I cyber know, and have had the pleasure of meeting in real life

    8. adventurous

    9. driven

    10. happy and cheerful

    sorry but I stopped dead in my tracks when I read you banging on yourself!!! Girl you are a SUPER STAR!!! go have a wonderful vacation and we will be here when you get back :)

  8. Annie!!!

    First - LOVE the new hair, and I'm so excited for you and the cruise. It's going to be so much fun!

    As far as trying harder...tell the coach to help you find something just as strenuous for a good workout, but not as physically complicated. Jumping rope? For me, it's not that I get tired or worn out, I am so uncoordinated that I trip every time. I jump in place without a rope. Box steps? I have torn up my right ankle so many times since I was a kid that it scares the daylights out of my to jump up or down off of any object. One more injury to that ankle means a final surgery with pins = immobility. I am NOT going there. I want my foot planted firmly before I lift myself. So I compensate with a taller box and just step up carefully. Still a great workout and I've reduced my risk of serious injury. I have arthritis in my left hip - the impact of outdoor running just kills me for days following. So I speed walk, or hop on the elliptical or stationary bike. I'm still getting my heartrate up and sweating like a pig, but I'm not in pain. Any coach worth his oats can help you work out things to compensate for age (no insult here...I think we're about the same age!) and injury.

    As for the not wanting to get sweaty? You're just going to have to Suck it Up, Buttercup, and get over it. Wear a bandanna around your forehead to keep the sweat out of your eyes and just let it run. That's what showers are for.

    So, Chin Up! It's Friday! And you, my friend, just TOTALLY ROCK!!!!

    P.S. I haven't forgotten about meeting up next time I'm over on the East side!

  9. I'd have to agree with your reader Karla! You are awesome in SO many ways...I adore you and you inspire me daily, you make me laugh, you make me think. You are charismatic, optimistic and super caring. I am beyond fortunate to be able to call you my friend.

    I know you will have a wicked good time on that cruise, and am so jealous of all those lucky people that get to spend time with you.

    Keep being your awesome self,
    Laurie Anne

  10. May I ditto all the comments above. Also, every time I've tried to do MORE because someone goaded me into it, I've injured myself. It wasn't good enough that I was walking 4 miles in an hour. "You need to walk a 12 minute mile!" So when I tried that, I messed up my knee and the walking ceased. Then I began having trouble getting up stairs, although I could make it. "You need to strengthen you quads!" I was told. "DO MORE!" And the more I did, the weaker they became. Turned out I had muscular dystrophy. Tear down the tissue, it doesn't rebuild so readily. Had I listened to my body, I'd have much more function now.

  11. Just a lurker but may I agree with the others above. I tire of blogs, but I love to check in on yours because you are delightful and sharp and even when things are not great or you are down you are still a pleasure to read!

    I'm trying to buckle down on the zero or close to zero carb--you're a big part of my inspiration. Thanks for your reporting from inside your head! Wishing you well and wellness!

  12. I have the opposite problem...I have no problem sweating and working out...but the food is where I still mess up sometimes. But even I, lover of all things sweaty, have what I call my '5 sigh day'. I know it's going to be a loooong workout if I sigh getting out of the car at the gym, sigh going into the dressing area...sigh before each interval and sigh when I leave. I didn't want to go, didn't want to be there and didn't want to be doing any of it. But I have to. If you have to get one or the other down..I'd opt for food. Someday I am going to be too old to do mountain climbers. You are never too old to eat less. lol

  13. Yes, yes! to the comment above listing your wonders of constancy! And I cannot emphasize enough this remark: "every time I've tried to do MORE because someone goaded me into it, I've injured myself." Except I'd add, EVERY SINGLE time -- and also note that EVERY SINGLE time, the adviser was a minumum of 20 yrs younger than me. They must have been crying out for love. They were able, no doubt, to read about what 1 year will bring, and see it among others, but they had no clue about the state of my ligaments and tendons, previous injuries or conditions. They are doing the best they can, sensing my own capabilities and how I felt was the best I was going to need to do. If you are not making physical changes, such as losing more weight or morphing into a 29 yr old physique, I'd say you are becoming a perfect expression of a woman your age and height. Who you are is so spectacular. I'm looking forward to the cruise and loving the pics with the lessons.

  14. O.k Karla said what I was thinking!! (Thanks Karla)
    I do agree with the above comments. You are da bomb :)
    It took me quite a while but I have to admit I love it when I'm red faced with sweat dripping off of my nose. Yeah not too pretty but I work hard to get there. Now with the injuries I've had I have at times (quite often) not pushed myself as much as I should because there's that little voice in the back of my brain that says I will injure myself. So I push myself but maybe with a little bit of caution.
    Sorry I know I'm ranting but it's the only way I can think of describing it.
    You are stronger than you know. Push, but push smart!!
    Your #1 fan :)

  15. Have a fantastic time Anne!!!!!! You are a walking success story and inspiration, and I know you'll be JUST FINE. Take care.

  16. I've been floundering in a similar way...stuck in a rut of "all or nothing" in terms of exercise. If I can't run a marathon then I might as well sit on the couch (well, not really, but that's what it felt like). I'm finally getting my mojo back and I kind of had to sneak it in through the back door....make it feel like it wasn't being forced on me.

  17. I hope you have such a wonderful time on the cruise you will want to repeat it again next year. Would love the opportunity to meet you. Yours is the one blog I always find myself coming back too for knowledge & inspiration. Hair & glasses look fabulous. Looking forward to hearing about your take on the LCC!

  18. What a great post. I love it when someone figures out what is really going on. Back to CrossFit! Love it!


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