23 February 2020

rationing life


This is funny. 
I slept like a log. 
On weekends, 
I work 15 hours. 
So I’m super tired. 


Gym starts this week! 
In the hopes of getting better sleep. 
My job is largely sedentary 
With bursts of activity. 

A makeshift office 
In a corner of a room. 
Pretty typical Home Health. 


So I finally read
- And followed -
The instructions on the package 
Of Starbucks Covefe.
Turns out, I love it. 
For 30 years, I hated it. 

I just wasn’t using the right amount 
To even taste it. 
Much less enjoy it. 

Until I was 40,
I avoided vacations. 
Now, I love them. 
Obviously. Lol. 

I love sleep. I sleep perfect now. 

I love my day off! 
Do with me what you will. 
But my one day off is mine. 


The power of walking away. 
After I got punched in the nose,
Just the other day, 
My Mind said “That’s it! Enough!”
And I realized (again)
That I don’t need anything 
- Or anyone - 
Bad enough to grovel on the floor. 

I look at this now,
And it’s calm. 
Like a still frame. 






Fun with filters. 

So the last little thread
Or remnant- is now stitched. 
I love my case. 
But I’m not anyone’s 
Maid. 
Whipping Boy. 
BabySitter. Etc. 

I taught this child 
How to read/write. 
If he won’t use it- 
That’s his choice. 
We can’t make him want to do better. 
Not everyone is Helen Keller 
And ready to come out. 

And I’m not a good candidate 
To endure the years of transition 
To get him from Point A
To Point B- and beyond. 
If he won’t participate 
In his own recovery. 

I once had a BFF who 
Had a brother on street drugs. 
She said her brother
“Just wasn’t motivated.”
Well- he was super motivated. 
Just not toward HER goals. 

And that is the difference. 

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