rationing life

This is funny. 

I slept like a log. 

On weekends, 

I work 15 hours. 

So I’m super tired. 

Gym starts this week! 

In the hopes of getting better sleep. 

My job is largely sedentary 

With bursts of activity. 

A makeshift office 

In a corner of a room. 

Pretty typical Home Health. 

So I finally read

- And followed -

The instructions on the package 

Of Starbucks Covefe.

Turns out, I love it. 

For 30 years, I hated it. 

I just wasn’t using the right amount 

To even taste it. 

Much less enjoy it. 

Until I was 40,

I avoided vacations. 

Now, I love them. 

Obviously. Lol. 

I love sleep. I sleep perfect now. 

I love my day off! 

Do with me what you will. 

But my one day off is mine. 

The power of walking away. 

After I got punched in the nose,

Just the other day, 

My Mind said “That’s it! Enough!”

And I realized (again)

That I don’t need anything 

- Or anyone - 

Bad enough to grovel on the floor. 

I look at this now,

And it’s calm. 

Like a still frame. 

Fun with filters. 

So the last little thread

Or remnant- is now stitched. 

I love my case. 

But I’m not anyone’s 

Maid. 

Whipping Boy. 

BabySitter. Etc. 

I taught this child 

How to read/write. 

If he won’t use it- 

That’s his choice. 

We can’t make him want to do better. 

Not everyone is Helen Keller 

And ready to come out. 

And I’m not a good candidate 

To endure the years of transition 

To get him from Point A

To Point B- and beyond. 

If he won’t participate 

In his own recovery. 

I once had a BFF who 

Had a brother on street drugs. 

She said her brother

“Just wasn’t motivated.”

Well- he was super motivated. 

Just not toward HER goals. 

And that is the difference.