09 August 2009

got any grapes?

A duck walks into a bar  

and says - "Hey bartender! You, uh, got any grapes?"
The bartender says, "Uh, no, this is a bar. We don't have any grapes."

The next day, the duck walks back into the same bar, and asks the same bartender the same question. "Got any grapes?"

"No, duck," the guy says, "We have beer, wine, whiskey - that kind of thing. But no grapes!"

Duck walks out.

Next day. Duck walks in. Same guy. "Got any grapes?"

By now, the bartender is furious! "No, we do NOT have any grapes, nor will we ever have any grapes. Furthermore, if you ever come back in here again asking for grapes
I'll nail your bill to the floor!" So, the duck walks out.

Next day. Same duck, same bar, same guy. And the duck says "Hey, buddy! You, uh, got any nails?"


So the duck says,
"Good! Got any grapes?"

my favorite joke AND
the perfect diet metaphor!


  1. LOL

    I'm back,
    I'm trying to catch up with everyone.
    Hope your doing well. :)

  2. The rim shot was the punchline...loved it!

    Got any nails....lol. I'll be saying that all day.

    Needed the smile this morning.

  3. Ha, thaat was cute, hope you are well. Take care.

  4. And then the sammich walks into the bar.

    "Hey," yells the bartender. "We don't serve food here."

  5. A rope walks into a bar and asks for a drink..

    Bartender: "we don't serve ropes in here"

    2nd rope walks into the bar, and asks for a drink...

    Bartender says again: "we don't serve ropes here"

    3rd rope sees all this... and before entering the bar, ties a knot in the top of his rope and messes the top end a little. He then saunters into the bar, settles himself on the barstool and asks the tender for a beer.

    The bartender looks at him warily at first, then asks... "are you a rope?"

    "No sir," he said....

    (wait for it...)

    " I'm a frayed knot."

    :) :) :) :)

  6. ok, a priest, a lobbyist , and an air line attendant walk into a bar,,,, oh cr*#p. im no good at this! lol.......

  7. LOL, loving this (and the subsequent comments)!

    Everyone has gone quackers!

  8. A dyslexic walks in to a bra ...

  9. LOL Karen

    What did the dalai lama say to the hog dog vendor?

    Make me one with everything. :)

  10. I just told that joke to my godson who laughed his head off! Thanks.

  11. Then the dalai lama wants his change.....
    and the hot dog vendor replies:
    "Change must come from within!"


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