clear thinking

I love having days off. 

I can’t imagine working 

So many hours again 

Pre-Autum. 

Still in the 80s. 

The grass is definitely 

greener on the other side. 

Especially if you water it. 

When we have these breakthroughs,

Once the underpinning starts to shift,

And you get to a stopping point,

It’s time to shore up. 

Good to have patience 

And discipline on board. 

fall day

The temp dropped to 80°. 

My Air BnB for work. 

Wink wink. Short commute. 

I’ve worked 90 hours

Since I got over COVID

Just last week 

My plans for the night. 

My plans for the day 

Working this much,

I don’t have time for stretching 

And walking and being clean. 

Low BP much

Actual functioning adults

Were worried that the 5G 

Phone call from FEMA 

Will activate nano-particles 

That were injected into us sheep zombies

In the form of puss face, diaper face,

COVID Vaccine and boosters. 

It’s scary that they really believe it. 

So I took a little experiment. 

A little mental gymnastics. 

I “pretended” that I took a travel job

In some nice place. Far away. 

And I actually hated the job! 

I hated the case…the facility…

Most of the coworkers… 

BUT it was ok, because I 

Was free to do whatever I wanted 

On my off time. 

I would probably feel grateful 

To have a job that lets me have

That kind of time. 

And freedom. 

It’s actually all about the freedom. 

So I thought-  hmm

Why not feel that way now? 

This case…these coworkers…

Right now? Not later; NOW. 

Just a little mental shift. 

break in - or out

Well,  that was a long trip down. 

This was the hardest week

I’ve ever had. 

But (not bragging) BUT

I’m handling things. 

I finally got answers. 

You know how someone says something 

And a few years later you think

OMG that’s nuts! 

1️⃣

Those Nurses with the fake degree

Said once that BamBam is a devil,

Because cats are the devil 

In some parts of Nigeria. 

Actual witchcraft. 

2️⃣

For their salvation,

And the salvation of their souls,

They can not be in a room with a cat. 

3️⃣

Then she said that gay men

Are only half a man

Because they are the devil. 

They still kill gay people there. 

Just like in Uganda.  

I know she was talking about me. 

I am deserving of death because 

I did not marry a man. 

4️⃣

Then came the coup de grace. 

She actually asked point blank

And I quote:

“Do you think Little Man is alive? 

Do you think he (our patient) 

Is alive in his body? 

Does he have a soul?”

Suddenly it all makes sense. 

The missed meds. 

The skipped meals. 

The cases of formula 

found stashed away. 

The shoddy care. 

The constant neglect. 

The laziness. Tardiness. 

They don’t think this boy is 

A living breathing human being! 

And these are RNs 

Well - supposedly. 

That’s what they’re being paid as. 

I did the Ho’ Onoponono 

About 100 times squared yesterday. 

I cried so hard - I could barely breathe. 

How does this happen? 

How can people think like this? 

How can we keep them from 

Hurting patients?

I’m convinced they were 

Trying to actively harm him. 

And me. So occult. 

It’s like religious 

Munchhausen by Proxy.  

Also the wrong job, 

The wrong go-workers,

The wrong housemate,

The wrong climate…

Why do we want robots to look like 

Human hands? Is it more efficient?

And all the bitching,

Specialness, ego stuff,

Petty bossing- fighting- 

It wears ya down. 

That should say to watch yourself 

Love someone. It’s beautiful. 

My co-workers called me “evil”

And said o was a “White Colonizer”

But if they knew my grandmother 

Was a prostitute from Ireland

And my father was raised in an orphanage 

Like a bad Film Noir…

 Not all white people are evil. 

Might be some truth to that 

I am a morning person. 

But many- most- of the people 

I hang out with are 

Sworn Night Owls. 

Slept in the loft 

Perfect sleep. 

3 extra hours with no driving. 

Knock- Knees and classic 

hypermobilty On full display lol 

And that is that.

 I finally cracked the code. 

They should all be in jail-

But you can’t prove anything. 

Even the mom knows it’s true. 

She’s not worried about 

them not coming back.