sick day

Not the greatest picture 

but what can ya do? 

Ya know when you overstimulate 

A dog? Well, that’s how I feel. 

Tired and ready to snap

At someone. Leave me alone. 

Quit fucking with me

And leave me the fuck alone. 

During report, I had to talk myself 

Out of getting on the car

And driving off. 

Don’t take report, 

Quit on the spot. 

Drive home. 

Go to sleep. 

I realized I was having a panic attack. 

Right there at work. 

This baby stayed so close. 

I was anxious all day yesterday as well. 

And stop eating all my 

special cheese collection. 

In fact, stop eating my stuff altogether. 

It’s crazy to start to cook, 

And the ingredients have been eaten. 

I think - I know I’m not crazy. 

But didn’t I have some pepper Jack? 

And why are there teeth marks 

In the cheese and it was left out

On the counter…

In the garage…

On the patio…

Pick your battles… etc…

But shit- just go get your own groceries. 

And stop eating my ingredients. 

Who does that? 

Drunken frat boys?

Big fight at work. 

Everyone is involved. 

This one said that that one said something. 

I try to keep out of crap like that. 

This one wants me to give her 2 days. 

I could not get anyone to come in for me 

For like 3 years. Now they want my days. 

And the company is on their side. 

And then they lie about it. 

“Oh I never said that!”

That sick feeling about

He said she said. 

And if you (not you per se)

Confront me about something, 

You need to do it, say it, own it,

And give me a chance to explain. 

Also I will do things my way, 

And you do things your way. 

And that’s ok as long as it doesn’t 

Mess things up - the for bigger picture. 

The incident that caused the fight is

That I ordered the medicine 

For the case. And I rotate the bottles

When I’m gone so they’re full…

When I’m gone for a few days. 

That way, no one sends the dad out 

At 0100 to get more medicine.  

Which really happened once.

So I’m guilty of using full bottles. 

In my mind I’m very anxious. 

So fuck off and mind yer business. 

I’m probably a bitch 

When it comes to fights. 

I fight fair but I don’t take shit. 

If someone is mad or frustrated,

That’s ok. But don’t turn it 

On the me. I’m not the one. 

If I’m wrong, correct me. 

Don’t threaten me or 

Take it out on me. 

If you’re confronting me

Because I didn’t do the laundry fast enough? 

(For example…)

Guess what. You’re in charge 

Of laundry from that day forward. 

[breathing exercising]

Anxiety sucks. Being at work 

With anxiety is hard

Because you can’t go away,

and calm down. It’s pretty public. 

[sigh]