hail to the naw naw

Deception here. 

My pulse was bounding. 

I took some sleepy cold medicine 

And it kicked my butt into next week. 

Even that was horrible. 

I laid in bed and bargained 

with the Universe for anything 

That would help me  never feel like 

I did last night. Anything. 

I was sick sick sick. 

It felt like inflammation. 

It was like poison. 

I had a hand full of peanuts

I think were rancid and super salty,

And that with everything else 

It was like watching myself die

In slow motion. 

I threw up like 10 times. 

Dark bloody like before. 

Bargaining is the last phase 

In the Stages of Loss

Right before Acceptance. 

This is Elizabeth Kubler Ross. 

This is Siri. 

She knows things. 

If I had COVID 12/19 

before it had a name - 

And that’s what my doctors think- 

Then the vaccine made me sick

And I almost died- earlier this year…

Then this cold turned into something bad- 

Then it all makes sense. 

COVID changes everything. 

I think we’ll hear people say 

Before COVID I could XYZ

But now I can only ABC. 

As luscious would have it,

I’m scheduled for a CRP

C Reactive Protein- this week. 

So I can test my theory. 

About a week in tune with myself. 

All this inflammation and crap

 I gained 10 pounds in one day 

and lost it the next. 

Simple meals for me. 

Hamburger meat and cheese. 

My best boi. 

My current mood. 

I guess bargaining to acceptance 

Is like the serenity prayer. 

You don’t have to like it. 

But it does no good to deny 

something that is obvious.