pulmonary function test

Crappy Sleep. 

Some reflux. 

Eating too late. 

I forgot to push the button. 

I walked more than this. 

Believe me. I walked bigly. 

Everyone is saying they’ve

 never seen anything like it. 

How much I walk. 

Not to be bragadocious. 

Believe me. 

Still not sold on why sleeping 

HRV should be low. 

Can’t wrap my brain around it.

Well, poo. 

So they gave me a PFT

Pulmonary Function Test 

To rule out Pulmonary Hypertension. 

And they did. 

I had one single questionable variable. 

And they said that might be from 

Wayyyyy back in the 1990s 

When we all took diet pills. 

PhenPhen was good at causing PH. 

The doctors said I had about 6 months

To “prove” I wasn’t a cardio patient. 

That I wasn’t one at the time

And that I didn’t become one. 

I told them to get ready. 

We’re smarter now

And get more true 

Meaningful and lasting changes made. 

Generally. 

Once we get past the stupidity. 

Maybe we have Toddler Fatties

(Just learning about weight loss)

And then Teenager Fatties

(The kind that rebel)

And then Adult Fatties

(The ones who get it!)

Maybe I can finally 

Grow up and into the new role.