how to be a nurse (1)

Good Eve-en-ing!

Grab some coffee. 

This post turned out to be LONG! 

I hope you enjoy it. 

More to come. 

For Della! 

We think Nursing 

Will be sweet. And happy. 

Well. It can be! 

We have our moments. 

Get ready. It’s not like on TV!

But- what really is? 

Lots of bodily functions 

Get left out of the stories. 

But, in a perfect world, 

we would not need nurses! 

Being a patient in the American 

Health Care System these days

Can be lonely, expensive, and often difficult.

Lots of questions. Lots of pain. Fear. 

Often, Doctors don’t have the answers. 

Our system treats symptoms. 

(More on this later!)

Those sick and hurting people 

are going to need a good nurse! 

Let’s dive right in!

Nursing is great for life. 

You can do every age of life. 

Every condition. Any specialty!

You’ll never be bored in Nursing. 

You’ll never need anything else. 

You could move to a new state,

And be working full time that same week. 

I always knew I would be a Nurse. 

From an early age. Like 4. 

When I got my first Nancy Nurse book. 

My mother worked in Medical Records, 

So I was raised around Doctors and Nurses. 

And Hospitals. And many stories. 

You can work in a National Park,

A Cruise Ship, 

work with Indigenous Peoples,

Corporate, School Nursing …

Clinic, Hospital, Rehab…

The sky isn’t even the limit -

You can do Flight Nursing! 

After graduating, and being deployed, 
I did one year Med-Surg

One year Cardiac

One year Post-Partum

One year Oncology 

One year Psych 

While in a civilian Hospital Float Pool. 

That’s a great way to get 

A well-rounded foundation.

Strive for that. 

I was definitely the persona-non-grata 

My first 3 years. I took shifts that 

Everyone else turned down. 

There are no small parts. Just small actors. 

Free Advice: be prepared to take

Crappy assignments and horrible hours

The first year or so. 

That’s where we learn the most. 

Nurses eat their young, they say…

And these COVID nurses are

Tired and they’re hungry!

There’s no way around it. 

First few years are hard.

Then, with any luck at all,

The Spirit of Florence will whisper 

To you “Good job!” And you’re 

Finally arriving- the inner circle! 

Remain flexible and humble. 

Nurses can be very petty. 

This is a long-term learning curve. 

Be patient. 

I also worked part time in a 

“Nursing Home” so a few years

Of Geriatrics, Geri Phych,

Dementia and Memory Care. 

I’ve done Wound Care. 

I ran a Group Home.  

This is the group home. Fancy. 

Those are my tables. 

Private Pay only. Not Medicare. 

And I’ve been Nurse of the Year 

And Nurse of the Month many times. 

I think of myself as being a Hospice Nurse 

Even now. With Kid and Baby Hospice. 

I’ve done 10 years of Adult Hospice. 

It’s honest. Raw. As real as it gets. 

No room for error or doubt. 

The pain stops here! 

My job is to provide comfort 

on the last days, and hours of life. 

There are some in-patient facilities 

That do hospice, but it’s mostly 

At each person’s home. 

I do the Crisis Care at the bedside. 

I am an LVN. Aka LPN. 

I chose to stay on this level of care,

Because back in the day, 

Officers were RNs

And Sergeants were LVNs. 

One is management. RNs. 

One is Labor. LVNs. 

But it’s not the same nowadays. 

They have a Vocational RN 

That can be earned in 2 years. 

So not a full BSN RN degree. 

The Board doesn’t distinguish 

Between an Associate RN

And a 4 year RN or even MSN. 

The hospitals get more money for working 

An RN as opposed to an LVN. 

So naturally they hire more. 

(More on this later!)

Travel Nursing is hot right now. 

The rates have already started to drop. 

But COVID made a spike! Like 10 fold. 

Travel Nursing is always there for us. 

You’ll need at least a year of experience 

Before you travel. 

35 + years ago, I was a CNA

And live-in caretaker to a rich lady. 

She was young and oh so foolish! 

I took the ASVAB 

[Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery]

and scored in the top 1%!

I was actively recruited by the Army.

And turns out, I was a perfect fit! 

Even though I was 28 years old. 

I went to Combat Medic School (91B)

And the LPN School (91C) 

Then, Operation Desert Shield 

And Operation Desert Storm. 

AKA The Gulf War. 

Humble-Bragging here,

But I earned 2 

Army Achievement Medals. 

Triaging Casualties for one award. 

The second one, I took an assignment 

That no one else wanted. Bam! 💥 

They pinned a First Oak Leaf Cluster 

On my chest. ❤️ next to my heart. 

Give me your hardest cases. 

I thrive on difficult cases. 

I graduated Nursing School in September. 

Sat for the boards in November,

And was deployed in December. 

I was in Germany- not the sandbox-

Because I was part of a General Hospital 

And not a M*A*S*H unit. 

Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. 

Yes. It really is a real thing. 

I was a Squad Leader all through Basic.

Don’t forget-  you have to do real 

Basic Training to join the Army. 

They don’t water it down for the ladies. 

Hand grenades, bivouac, bazookas,

Constant yelling and running. 

Usually in the rain at 4 am. 

Historically, civilian nurses 

were given a HESI. 

[Health and Environmental Science Institute.]

It’s a test of General Knowledge. 

Like basic Grammar. 

Basic math. How to drive 

Through an intersection. 

What spoon to use with soup. 

A lady won’t eat. What can you do? 

And you have to say why. 

I didn’t have to take the HESI. 

We were already EMTs to get in. 

But I think some Schools require it. 

The HESI is to get IN to Nursing. 

The NCLEX is to get out

Of School and becoming a Real Nurse! 

[NCLEX = National Council 

Licensure Examination]

Which will probably be 

the most exciting day of your life! 

The school part is done! 

But really, it’s just getting started. 

Bwahahahah! 

In Nursing School, 

we had weekly Pharmacology Tests. 

You were not allowed to miss 

even one question 

On one test one time. 

Or flunk out. 

We had didactics every week,

Clinical Modules,

And of course Clinical Rotations. 

We were up doing PT 

Before dawn every day. 

The Army paid me $600 a month

To go to Nursing School. 

Plus school was free. 

But I had to payback 8 years. 

So not really free per se! 

Every career has its flip side. 

Nursing is hard. 

It’s very hard. Abnormally hard. 

I honestly don’t see how some people pass. 

I see many people that are just in it for the money. 

They do crappy work. And they’re usually bitter. 

I chose Pediatric Home Health 

Years ago because I broke my arm. 

Yes. Fractured Radial Head. 

(It’s that hypermobily. Ugh)

So I took a pediatric case 

“Just for a few weeks.”

I ended up staying 11 years! 

And now I’m back for more. 

Once you get a year or so of training,

You can finally take a kiddo case. 

Home Health, you deal with stable kids. 

But they are also medically fragile. 

And most moms work these days. 

So it’s just you and the kid. 

I get kids with rare obscure illnesses. 

I’ve had several child abuse cases,

Closed-Head Injuries, 

Subdural Hematomas etc 

A Munchausen By Proxy.

Organs born outside the body

They can keep kids alive 

through so many conditions -

They’re so strong and resilient. 

All filled up with stem cells and ready 

And they’re filled with Love. 

All love.