I need a butterfly (band-aid)

First  - I 'm ok.

Obviously, or I wouldn't be blogging this!

Or would I? (lol)

I found out something about myself last night.

My neighbor was helping me, taking a picture of me

holding a tape measure. I dreamed (actually) that I

should use the tripod, but I didn't.

So when she dropped the little camera,

and broke it, I was more than a little upset.

(Fragile little buggars, those cameras!)

Upset with myself, that I should have listened

to some internal guide;  should have been more careful.

I went in, took my little salad plate - took it and threw it down

into the sink.  (Temper, temper, eh?) An unlikely angle 

bounced it back - Right into my forehead. 

I didn't even know what hit me!

Suddenly blood was every where - I couldn't 

even see!  Blood was even in my eye.

And the pain! It hurt so much, I didn't even cry.

Capillary bleeding of the face is pretty dramatic!

 Let's just say I looked a little like this!

(Gory link; sorry!)

I am learning to think that things are helpful.

Someone once told me that. I thought it was true then. 

Now I know it's true.

So when my little camera bit the dust

(literally) I stopped to ask the requisite question:

What is my camera for?

What does it represent that I should be so upset over it?

Certainly not the camera itself. I have another one.

Almost just like it. (Wanted a back up battery - which costs

just as much as the camera itself! Hence - two cameras!)

No. It somehow represents a link to "reality."

Blogging reality. And the "reality" of the past.

Which cannot be "real" if the present is real.

A substitute reality of "ego" things - approval,

endorsement, expression, creativity....

But a camera is just a device. It's not really those things.

It just stands for those things.

Maybe the same thing as food once was.

Or now being pseudo- svelte is. It's very fashionable

to to a Big Loser these days.

All this while I'm laying on the floor.

I did lose alot of blood. 

Got the bleeding to stop. And I have plenty of

hydrogen peroxide!  So now I'm all cleaned up.

So now I have a headache. And a scar.

My face, which has barely even had a pimple,

will now boast a scar. A perfect symbol of

a struggle with an entity... my own ego!

Social butterfly. Madame Butterfly.

I need a butterfly dressing.

Release the butterflies!

Back to "it's all good." It's taking less time

to get all the way around the block with these

thoughts. Finally! 

I'm glad I opted for the "long" way to recovery.

Those quick fixes and lateral movements 

were fine fixes for a moment.

But as they say in the world of construction:

"If you don't have time to fix it right,

When are you going to find time to fix it again?"

YouTube Video
M Butterfly
Music: Lust and Caution
(Falling Rain, Wong Chia Chi's Theme)


And: Tonight, when I got home, there was a note on the door.
My neighbor gave me $$$ to replace the camera.
I gave the $$$ back -  and all is forgiven.
Back to priorities.


Moral of the story - don't throw your favorite red plate!