hotel calorie - fornia

On a dark dessert highway, Coolwhip in my hair
Warm smell of burritos rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering delight
My hips grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for a bite


There she stood blocking the doorway, I heard the Taco Bell
And I was thinking to myself  "This could be heaven or this could be hell"
Then she lit up a fat one, and she showed me the weigh
There were voices down the corridor, I thought I heard them say


Welcome to the Hotel Calorie-fornia
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Not so much room at the Hotel Calorie-fornia
Any size you wear, you can find it here...


Her mind is curly-fry twisted, she got the love handle bends
She got alot of pretty skinny boys that she calls friends.
How do they dance in the courtyard? Aerobic sweat -
Some eat to remember, some eat to forget...


...Mirrors on the ceiling, pink ice cream on ice
And she said "We are all just prisoners here, of our own device!"
And in the kitchen chambers, they gathered for the McFeast
They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can't kill the beast...

...You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave!

YouTube Video

Acoustic Version

Eagles

Hotel California

*...and of course, all the usual comparisons and apologies!*