people say the darnedest things
Once, at the indoor walking track, a "little old lady" passed me by - again - as I was walking. She winked at me, and asked "Are you OK, honey?" So I did the only thing I could think to do. I started limping! I carried on for a good 5 minutes about "Oh, my ankle!" (which, of course, was fine!)
Once, a neighbor was visiting. She was venting a little about what a "rather large" person had done to her, or said to her (or maybe even just looked at her wrong!) Then my neighbor made a little *gasp* and covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh, Anne, nothing personal! No offense, dear!" I guess she thinks that we "rather large" people all stick together. Come to think of it, we do! Here at least.
Once, a lady (a sociopath, I think) looked me square in the eye and announced, very matter of factly "YOU are as big as a house!" Oh, come on! "What?" I asked, with my mouth gaping open, for I could not believe my ears. Never missing a beat, she replied "You heard me." A house? What kind of house... a little townhouse? A condo maybe? An apartment? Maybe a Mc Mansion :D
Once, a family member of a patient (I am a home nurse) called my company and asked if they could please send a "skinny" nurse. She was afraid I would get stuck in the shower while showering the patient. That's what she said. Stuck in a 5 foot wide enclosure! Later that same day, she came running out from her bedroom. She was napping and had a dream that I sat on her furniture and broke it! She then directed me to sit on the couch....
Once, I was checking out at a place where they require a picture i.d. The checkout lady looked up, and back to her computer screen. Back and forth she looked, until finally she asked "Do you have a sister?" No, just me. That's me! "Oh," she stammered. "Look at the time! Gotta go!"
True stories, all!
