floundering

You can't really say I'm floundering here...

But you can't really say I'm not...

Not in terms of diet... that, strangely enough, does not flounder.

And I am never tempted to cheat.

Oh sure, I've had a few so-called "safe starches" in the past.

But that was some hip-hop happy attempt

on my part to see if I was "healed" enough to eat them again.

Guess not.

People ask if LoCarb and Very Low Carb

and Zero Carb have "messed up my metabolism."

They forget that it was messed up before - 

That's why I went on  LC diet to start!

People ask if years of Atkins made it such that 

now I can't eat bread and candy without gaining.

Really?

No - dear - I think it was years of Chronic Obesity 

that messed up my metabolism...

Carrying around nearly 100 pounds of pure fat 

for nearly a decade.

And the 300 carbs (PLUS) a day I once ate.

Atkins saved me! It only helped.

To borrow a well-known example....

Blaming Atkins for people's inability to digest starches

Would be like blaming the firemen for starting fires....

Based on the logic that they are present at every fire!

But I digress.

I tend to not like a challenge, because in the past

I was incapable of doing them. The truth.

Gosh - I could not take on a flight of stairs without stopping!

So I made up a bunch of excuses to quit (aka "reasons")

So when my CrossFit Coach suggested (again) 

that I try harder - I was beside myself.

I AM trying harder! 

THIS is me - trying harder.

He said that after a year of training,  I should be able to jump rope

or to jumping jacks...and I can not.

I don't want to be some "stupid" gym rat 

Or a middle-aged Orthorexic

that can't wait to get to the gym every day.

Ha ha ha!

If my Mother were alive, she would have died laughing!

Just to hear me say that. LOL!

I'm reasonably safe from having that happen to me.

The conflict is that I know on some level, my coach is right.

I just don't like to get all sweaty. 

And flop all around looking goofy doing work-out moves.

That sounds like "ego" statements to me.

I know it all requires work.

I just didn't know it would actually be WORK work.

Every day... not just when I feel like doing it.

And when all else fails, bring out the "fun" banner,

Wave it high, and stomp off - mumbling about how this is 

supposed to be fun - and every one can just go fugg themselves,

and all that. Typical me. 

So instead of quitting - my usual M.O. - 

I guess I need to go back and somehow

try to do moar... I don't know where it comes from...

if it comes at all. How would I?  I've never done it before.

This diet (and maybe nursing school) are the only things

I've ever done "right."  

Part of the key seems to be to listen to what my ego says to do....

And then go out and do the exact opposite.

Logic tells me that quitting won't get it - at any rate.

A little willingness, eh? 

So I got my hair done - just in time for the cruise - 

And got some new glasses - which also helped

with the headaches I was having! Yay!

I've still been walking nearly every day....

And working on my posture exercises.

And my food intake has been stellar -

On the house scales at work I'm down 8 pounds

after 3 weeks on Zero Carb!

We'll see the official numbers when I go back to CF.

Zero Carb seems to be the most agreeable phase yet.

What is not to like about steak?

Thanks for reading y'all...

Onward and downward!