defensive driving

I had to take a Defensive Driving Course (on line)

to offset my traffic ticket I got a few months ago. [link]

And it was pretty interesting to see that my mind is

still absorbed (notice I didn't say "fixated?")

with weight-loss metaphors.

I thought I was over it!

Will I ever be "over" my weight-loss issues?

They are part of me, and part of my history now. 

But being heavy no longer defines me.

The class said that most wrecks could be avoided.
That's why they are so tragic.

They involve reasons like this:

 Going Too Fast

Going Too Slow
Emotional Driving

Driving Under the Influence of Alcohol and/or Drugs

Not Paying Attention To Signs (along the way)

 Following Too Close

Kind of like Weight Loss, and real life.

Not paying attention. Using poor judgement.
Not maintaining your vehicle (or body.)

Going too fast - too slow for the conditions...

Not being in control of your own "vehicle."

Blaming others, blaming circumstances....
Failing to yield. 
Eating Emotionally.

And then they showed a lot of pictures of wrecks.

I guess we don't see enough in real life!

We do see enough obesity in real life,

and yet we don't react (by changing our habits.)

I went to sleep really early last night,

and slept all night, and most of today.

And had wild dreams - but I wasn't distressed by them.

Instead, I knew I was dreaming. 

Like a dream within a dream.

Like the Dream Me woke up - in the dream!

And when she did, all the destruction and wrecks 

that I dreamed about, were not there - as if they never happened!

And because it was a dream - they never really DID happen.

I take that to mean it's all ok.

At last! I finally got quiet enough -

if only for a moment.... to be ok.

(Notice I didn't say "liberated?")

So, no- still not over it entirely.

But now I'm aware of the true nature of my

worst nightmare - my own needs and desires.

And me, trying to find unsuitable ways to satisfy them.

Physical substitutes for something 

Something I can't even name - 

And it is here, that I am lost - for words!

My dear Mother once asked me to "describe chocolate."

Well, you can't. Not in words. 

You have to experience it!

Dreaming of socks that can blog...

What would they say?