p day

We have so many holidays 

But they aren’t really holidays. 

Maybe it’s for image control. 

They “give” us a holiday every month 

Almost. 

Worried sick about my situation. 

Still not finding relief. 

It changes every day. 

Every fucking day there is

A new problem or situation. 

And it wears me out. 

It’s as if I said 

“You can’t break me!”

And the people involved 

Heard it, and took it as a battle cry. 

With the goal being simply

To break me. 

Cant get bread from the hardware store. 

I know, after decades of study

That this will be ok. 

And I’m only frightening myself. 

But it seems real enough when you’re in it. 

And not just reading about it. 

Or talking with friends. 

And because it’s never solved,

I keep repeating the patterns. 

Ad Nauseum.