food staycationing

Up all night. 

Ugh. 

A normal, rational person 

Would not eat something pointless 

Or poisonous or just trashy. 

Or something that makes them sick. 

So I’ve been eating what I wanted. 

Anything. 

No limits. 

And I tasted it. 

Really smelled it 

And tasted it

And examined the texture

And in every case -

I can do 1000 times better

With my own 2 hands

And a handful of ingredients 

From my pantry. 

Usually no recipe needed. 

Just common sense.

Here are the foods I bought and tasted. 

Key lime pie. 

Chicken quesadillas. 

Pizza RollUp. 

Red sauce. 

Coffee ice cream.

Lemon cupcake 

Most of these foods - 

I took one bite 

And spit the rest out. 

They didn’t fit with my idea

Of what they would be like. 

Or how I remembered them to be. 

I waited 10 years for a slice of pizza- 

And it was thick and dry and bland

And used fake grease

And very skimpy cheese. 

In fact, there was barley 

One ounce of meat and cheese! 

No way a pizza is worth $20 

These days. 

The cupcake. 

Dry. Nasty. Stale. 

No bite to the lemon. 

Too bright yellow. 

Almost fluorescent. 

The pie. 

Once my fave. 

Key Lime Pie. 

The serving was small

Like 2 bites. 

Mostly crust. 

Off texture filling. 

Like freezer burn. 

Or it had thawed and been refrozen. 

The equivalent of a prison TV dinner

But for pie. 

I mean I analyzed these foods 

like a judge on a food show. 

Not one I liked. 

Not one. 

I didn’t even finish the beer. 

Have my tastes changed 

completely now? 

Swedish Fish candy. 

For Ramadan - for kids. 

I ate one. 

Waxy. 

I looked it up. 

Carnauba wax. 

In kids candy? 

A substitute for gelatin. 

Because the cows are not Halal. 

Really? Car Wax? 

That is some crazy shit. 

I finally pulled my sweet tooth! 

 

ending the lockdown

From Facebook. 

A Crone Of Anarchy. 

Cleaning out some old business. 

No offense meant,

But isn’t it crazy when a 

Storefront opens up-

And you can’t even remember 

What was just there? 

Cleaning out some 

50,000 pictures 

I wanted some pizza

Since I’m still on vacation. 

Even though I’m working. 

Lol. 

With beer. I didn’t finish either. 

Then I had nightmares all night.

 - and heartburn. 

Which I haven’t had for months.

Time to check those foods 

Off my Rainman List

Of foods I want to have

One more time before I die. 

perfect broken record

Chili and Cottage Cheese

My month without dairy

Was blah. I missed it. 

And it didn’t help my weight. 

Or feels. So, I added it back. 

The nurses I work with 

Are mean, cunning, rude, 

And they lie. 

They said I left poop 

In the wheelchair 

Last week. 

But I wasn’t even here that day! 

So I just leave them to it. 

I’m so done with them! 

From the start, this job has been 

Extremely high maintenance. 

No job is with what I go through 

Just to work here. 

My Coach will be glad to know it! 

perfect record broken

Welcome to Dallas. 

Home of the worst traffic ever. 

New York has subways and cabs. 

LA has turn outs. 

When we have a wreck here

Especially with all the construction, 

It can literally take hours to untangle. 

Plus Dallas’ Finest like to 

Slow things down. 

It’s  even worse when there is a fatality. 

So enjoy the view. 

Put on some music. 

Call the Boss. 

You’re not going anywhere! 

Also- trust me - this is good advice -

ALWAYS go to the bathroom 

BEFORE you leave. 

ALWAYS.  

labs 2020

staycation-ing

Kitty Chow 

Freaking cats eat better than I do! 

Masks are love on the face. 

Love in motion. 

Half assed efforts 

Are better than none. 

A drive in the country. 

I forgot half of what 

I was supposed to bring. 

One beer a week. 

My day off treat. 

With dinner. 

Usually a hamburger. 

OMG! I eat the same thing every day. 

And I seldom get tired of it. 

Blue Moon is unfiltered. 

This is coffee beer. 

That is lovely. 

Dr Shanahan says 

fermented things are good. 

I do miss wine. 

I’m not a fan of beer. 

One is my limit. 

But also, I lived in Germany. 

American beer isn’t going to 

Capture my fancy. 

I’m spoiled. Lol. 

Labs done. 

Waiting for the results. 

CBC, CMP, 

HA1c, and CRP. 

I want to check for fasting insulin. 

But this group doesn’t offer that test. 

So a CRP (c- Reactive Protein)

Is the next best thing. 

Or the end result of 

Insulin, at any rate. 

labs and slabs

Getting some labs done. 

I like to do them twice a year. 

No one can say I’m not thorough

With my Low Carb “experiment!”

My life.

A blooming mess. 

At least it’s not dead. 

The secret to getting them 

To eat organ meat

Is to be strict and not give them 

Anything else until they finish. 

Trust me. They’ll finish. 

Blogging in the waiting room

Of the lab. 

Everyone is wearing a mask. 

I’ve been able to give many masks

To nurses and families. 

Thanks to everyone who 

Made these masks! 

Getting a CBC, CMP,

HA1c, CRP

For all the Lipid Haters 

quarantine dreams

This is a list of what I want to cook

And take to work for food prep. 

Not in any order. 

Baby Back Ribs

Quiche

Chili

Sausage Links

Chaffles

Reuben Chaffles. 

Chuck Roast

Pork Tenderloin with Cabbage.

Chicken / Honey Mustard 

Chicken Salad

Tuna Salad

Crab Cakes

Salmon

Pho

LC General Tso Chicken

Whenever I dream about food,

It usually means I’m not getting enough 

Some highlights from the Shanahan book:

She says there are 4 Pillars of healthy food. 

1 MEAT on the Bone

2 ORGAN meat

3 FERMENTATION 

4 RAW Foods 

I was much healthier 

Earlier in my Low Carb Journey. 

I ate a wide variety of food. 

In fact, I tried to have 

something new every week. 

I think for me OMAD is better. 

Maybe even ADF

-Alternate Day Fasting-

Just because it’s so hard to have 

The hunger that comes with OMAD. 

chili dogg

Crap Ingredients. 

Oh well. 

This quarantine Is making for some

Strange bedfellows. 

Amazing. Low N6. 

If that is accurate. 

I have no heartburn or reflux. 

And no hunger or joint pain.  

Now and then I get a bite or two of gluten. 

I’m not that picky. 

But I should be. 

I think it’s the offender. 

Woke up early listening to

 A Chorus Line. 

I listened to that daily for probably 2 years. 

In college. 

Morning, noon, and night. 

Three days off 

Starts tomorrow. 

I want to clean up my room

And get organized. 

I heard that I might be gifted

Another day 

On a permanent basis. 

This needs to happen. 

The lockdown is being lifted. 

It will have been 40 days. 

Which is exactly what 

Quarantine means. 

40.